for the first time in a long time i'm actually thinking of going out and taking the steps needed to change my life. instead of waiting around for things to change for me. the problem is it won't be easy. and i'm very scared that its not the right choice. that i should just try to make it work with the resources i have. or is that just an excuse? for the first time i believe in my abilities. and that with some training i can actually make something of myself. on the one hand i think you have to have some risk but the payoff will be worth it. but on the other hand i think, is this just some new cooky scheme that popped into my head? i can't trust my ideas. i'm always coming up with ideas and hardly ever follow through.
so i need to have a long talk with ed. i trust his judgement.
is this going to put us in more debt? or will this help our family in the long run?
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