Many of my friends have heard me joke that I don't have sex much. I just don't have much drive. My poor husband is such a trooper to deal with this but it always bothers me. I found out I have Vaginismus a couple years ago. I'm pretty sure it was due to physical trauma I experienced when I had to get a biopsy at this gynecologist in boston. It was the most horrible medical experience of my life and I believe it really did traumatize me. I'm scared to death now to have any medical procedure done. You should have seen me when I went in to get my wisdom teeth out. I had a crazy anxiety attack and started crying uncontrollably and they hadn't even done anything to me yet. The vaginismus sucks because it hurts to have sex. Bad. Unless i use some dr. prescribed lube that takes 10 min to kick in. It numbs me down there so i'm able to have sex. As you can imagine it takes away from all spontaneity. But I have found that if i get really really turned on i can have pain free sex. but like my husband says i need the moon and stars to align to get turned on. i'm very mental.
are you keeping count? thats 2 things working against me so far. A. Vaginismus and B. It takes a lot of mental stimulation and build up to get me turned on.
Now I found out I have PCOS which is a hormonal dysfunction and....you guessed it....it affects libido. According to Incyst (a pcos blog) its just one more thing working against me.
All I can hope is that losing weight and getting healthy will help. More energy, more confidence, more stamina. I'm hoping things change. I want to be normal again. I want to feel like a woman. All my friends talk about how great sex is and how often they have it and i feel like a freak. Not to mention a bad wife.
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