Happy Birthday to ME!!!

YES!!!! FINALLY!!!

i woke up this morning and weighed. still that same stubborn .5lb lingering on my victory. sigh. i thought alot last night about whether i'm being selfish wanting to try to get pregnant before i get to my goal weight. i just feel like i've waited soooo long and the weight loss has slowed so much that to wait till i get to a magic number is excruciating. i thought, am i a big fat failure if i don't get to goal first?

even if baby wasn't on the table. it would still take me months to lose the weight. i have 30lbs till my goal weight of 140lbs. is it doable? i think so. it just might take me till march of next year. and i'm ok with that. i mean i'm annoyed that my mom asks me everytime i see her how much weight i lost. she doesn't understand that the weight doesn't come off like it did before. these days i'm averaging about 2lbs a month. if that. so am i ok with it taking me that long to get to goal. if i didn't want a baby i would be fine. i'm very happy with how far i've come. i'm enjoying life and my new body, and i would just continue to enjoy it while i slowly got to goal. knowing that makes me more ok with  my choice. i'm not giving up. its just a little detour. i don't want to wait for a magic number. i want to have a baby. and after the baby i'll go back to striving for goal. of course it will probably be even harder and take a lot longer. i might not ever get to that magic number. and i'm ok with that.

anyway i took a shower and shaved. and i don't know what happened between waking up in and getting in the shower but i got back on that scale and i was .5lbs smaller! I DID IT!!! I FINALLY HIT 90LBS!!!!!!! man i've been like 2lbs away for a month! ridiculous! i really wanted to have this milestone for my bday. i wanted to have this big number to tote around. its very impressive. of course it will take me MONTHS to lose the next 10 lbs. i would love to lose it by my surgerversary in august but thats a long shot. i'll be happy with 5 more lbs though.

anyway i'm super stoked to finally say i'm lost a whopping 90LBS!! woohoo! go meli!!
What a great start to my birthday :)