apparently, if you're fat, you are subhuman.

I'm watching this show on TLC about obese women who are pregnant and the problems they face. i feel so deeply for these women, it makes me cry. the way they talk about them. like they're less than because they're heavy. my entire life, even as a heavy kid, i have been made to feel like i was sub human. especially when it comes to anything in the medical field. i have cried and cried so many tears after every apt. despite always being healthy, no high blood pressure, no diabetes, nothing, i was always treated like i was lucky i had gotten by without problems. and any second it would all go wrong. and yeah, maybe thats true. but i still think people should be treated like people. regardless of size. Especially when they're pregnant!

skinny women have been treated better by EVERYONE. and while it still pisses me off that heavier women are treated this way, and i will continue to fight against this for the rest of my life, i have to say i am so grateful that i won't have to go through this in the future. i'm so grateful that when i do get pregnant i will be "normal" and a healthy size and therefore be treated properly. i thank god i won't have to be treated like shit anymore. i look forward to being treated normally or better. i won't be looked at like i'm some kind of disgusting pig. thank you god for this surgery. for my new life. i'm not hopeless anymore. i'm very hopeful and happy for the future. so grateful. i will never go backwards. never again. only forwards.

i don't ever want to look at heavy women the way other people do. in disgust. i never ever want to be one of those people.