hee hee :)

not telling anyone but my blog and my hubby but i'm getting off the pill today. officially "trying" now. i'm just so giddy all the time!

did i tell you what my mom said the other day? i was out to dinner with my mom and i told her about my neighbors i grew up with and how one is preggers and the other just had a baby boy. and she was like "oh really? well now its your turn!"

omg!! i was floored!! this is HUGE. i don't know if you know this but my mom has never said anything positive about me having a baby. when i started wanting one a few years ago both her and my dad would cringe if i ever brought it up. it was so hurtful. after surgery she said it was because she was worried about my weight. but even after surgery when i talked about it, there goes the cringe. and she would always talk about how cute my cousin's kid was or how cute the neighbor was with his grandkids. she kept sending me mixed signals and rubbing that shit in my face. i would always blow her off bc i didn't wanna hear it. it was so incredibly hurtful.

so this was the FIRST time she ever said something positive! it was like, she was finally giving me her blessing. wow. i mean, i was gonna do it anyway but it was really nice to hear. it felt like everything was really falling into place. i was really ready. my doc told me to go for it, my mom thinks i'm ready. this is it, this is my time. and i'm overflowing with happiness.