I'm still Alive! :)

I made it! It was rough let me tell you. I'm 5 days out and only now able to concentrate on tv and get online again. Still can't focus on talking on the phone or having people over. Recovery sucks big donkey balls. But every day gets a little bit better.

Here's a recap of the surgery/hospital stay:

My surgery took a lot longer than expected. I was supposed to go in at 1:30pm but my surgeon was running late (as always) so i don't think we started till closer to 3pm. well when i finally got wheeled into recovery it was 8 something. so you can imagine how worried my family was. turns out there was so much gerth that they had to be very careful moving things around. so it took longer because they went nice and slow. also they repaired my hernia. despite all that i was very lucky to not have  a drain or a breathing tube.

surgery was a success. but i had no idea how much pain i would be in. when i woke up i had so much gas i felt like a balloon about to pop. as soon as i was awake i was begging them to let me walk. please please i have to walk. they said i could walk when they took me to my room in an hour. oh i was miserable. finally at 9pm they took me to my room and i was able to see my family. all i could say was please please let me walk. what i really wanted to do was walk to the bathroom and sit down and let all the gasses come out but i couldn't do that because i had a catheter in. by the way that thing doesn't take away the feeling of having to go. you just don't realize you're already going. so i finally stood up and walked. my mom was so proud of me to be up and walking so soon. i feel bad that i couldn't really appreciate anyone around me because i was so fixated on the pain. thank god for morphine.

the next day they took out the catheter and i felt a little more normal. but it was very frustrating that i couldn't burp or fart. nothing would come out. and usually i'm pretty gassy. oh did i mention my period was still (and still is) going strong at that point? they tried to release me a day early but i was in no condition to go home.  so i stayed another night. i needed to be on the iv because i could only get down a few sips of anything. by the way, when they brought that tray of broth, tea, jello and crystal light, that was like thanksgiving.  but of course i could only get down a few sips. warm water went down easier so i just stuck to the tea the rest of the time i was there.

everyday gets a little bit better but i have to be honest, i didn't know it would be this bad. its been ROUGH. my family has been AMAZING. my mom missed 2 days of work to stay with me.  she was there when i got to the hospital and she stayed till around midnight. then she came back the next day. she spent (along with my dad) many many hours in the waiting room. my husband stayed with me the first night and what an angel. he got up at a moments notice to help me with anything. he's so good at taking care of me. its unreal. the 2nd night he went home around 11pm and my mom stayed the night with me. i'm so blessed to have such wonderful family. i didn't even expect that from my mom. i mean she hasn't mothered me like that since i was a kid. i felt like a kid again. they just dropped everything to be with me.

and though i complain about the pain and stuff i have actually been very lucky. i mean, no drain. thats huge. i'm so grateful for that. no breathing tube. i haven't had any nausea. no shoulder pain. i've been walking a lot. but seriously i can't wait to feel normal again. this week sucks. i have no idea how i'm supposed to get down enough liquid. little by little i'm able to tolerate a little more but i'm nowhere near where i should be. i'm happy that my vitamins don't taste bad at all. gas-x hasn't done anything for me. but my husband bought me these chewable my lanta things for gas. they're the same ingredient as gas-x but just a higher potency. i think they're working a bit better. but its hard to tell. this gas is unrelenting and not being able to pass gas is so frustrating. i swear i just wanna let 'er rip. i could be in a crowded elevator and if i farted i'd be like yay i did it! finally! the pain killer they gave me is in liquid form and its this nasty stuff. its not cherry flavored or red its so nasty. and of course i have to sip sip sip it. ughhhhhh gag me.

everyone has been so nice. sending me messages and cards and phone calls and texts. i'm so grateful and feel very loved. but i can't concentrate on anything. so i haven't gotten back to anyone. i'm having trouble concentrating even on tv.

i feel like this is one of those things, like childbirth, where no one really tells you how much it hurts because no one would ever do it. lol. i can't wait to get to the point where its all a distant memory. i want to feel normal again!