Breakdown

Yesterday I broke down and bought cookies. I think I'm PMSing. I was in the store and I wanted something very specific. But I only wanted 1 cookie. Of course nothing in the store is 1 cookie. So I looked and looked...(by the way wanting one specific food and nothing else is a sure sign of emotional eating)...then as I was about to leave, I found it!! You guys have all had girl scout cookies right? Well I don't know what they're called now but they used to be called Samoas. The ones with coconut, caramel and chocolate? Well I found them! Keebler makes them now! Ha! Take that girl scouts! lol. So I struggled with this but I did buy them.

However, when I got home I had this glorious watermelon smoothie

(plain yogurt, watermelon, 2 splenda packets)

Omg so yum and refreshing, especially on such a hot day like today.

And these homemade taquitos. Super simple. I make my own refried beans (also super simple) and I spread a little on some corn tortillas, spread a little shredded cheese, a dash of taco sauce and nuked each one in the microwave for 1 min then took them out, rolled them up and let them sit for a minute andmmm yum!!!! sooo good!

I have a real hard on for corn tortillas lately (thanks to erika)

Anyway this stuff hit the spot and filled me up so well that I didn't even want or have room for the cookies. I took them out of the package and split them up into several baggies. I put 2 in each baggie and spread them around in hidden spots. That way if I have a moment of "I NEED IT RIGHT NOW" then I can go looking for them and only find a small portion and I won't overeat them. Otherwise, out of site out of mind. I think I just felt better knowing I had them there.

I was so emotional yesterday. I've been busting my ass these past few weeks to get everything done in time and now people are dragging their feet. They're not turning in the results to my surgeon. People just don't care and it really got to me yesterday. Plus I've been poked and prodded and squeezed so many godddamn times. I'm just getting overwhelmed. I need a break. I've been going non stop. I mean I'll have like 2 dr. appts in one day sometimes. Or I'll have to take someone to the airport, then go meet a friend to get haircuts, then have a sleep study that night. Things like that. And even on the weekend I end up having to do a bunch of stuff. I have gone to the airport 4 times this week alone! Enough! Damn. I need a break! I totally broke down yesterday.

I hope I get my period soon though. I want to get it before surgery. Though at this point I wouldn't mind moving the surgery back another week because I just need a break.

Yesterday I had 2 dr. apts then I had to pick up my parents from the airport. Today I have a dr. apt for the endoscopy results, then I have another sleep study today with the CPAP. I'm hoping at least tonight I'll get a good nights sleep using that machine and maybe I won't be so worn out.