Roller coaster

What a bad time to be going through all these ups and downs. While I'm PMSing. sigh...

Today I have almost cried, felt numb, felt relived, and felt stressed.

I went in for my gastro follow up. It turns out I have lots of H. Pylori (bacteria), and lots of it, in my stomach. Weird that I have no symptoms. And guess what? The treatment isn't fun. I have to take 4 pills twice a day as well as 2 Tbs of Pepto Bismol (that shit makes me gag! i hate it!) four times a day! Oof. All this for 14 days. The icing on the cake? My doc says I might have side effects like diarrhea, nausea, headaches. Great. Oh and I'm supposed to stay out of the sun. Great! lol. He also told me that after the 14 days he wants to wait 2 weeks after to do a follow up and make sure its all gone. He wants me to wait a month to have the surgery. So this is when I almost started crying in his office. But hey at least it wasn't worse. No hernia. No painful or evasive procedure. Taking pills isn't that bad.

So I'm driving away and I'm numb. Like its all over. All I've worked for. Gone.

And to make matters worse there was a stupid glitch with the insurance because my husband's company didn't pay on time so its showing that we have no insurance. So on top of AAAALLL the dr. apt co-pays we've been paying for ($40-$80 for almost all dr. apts) I had to pay $125 for this apt because the website says we have no insurance. Even though we do! They just haven't updated the website yet. So now I'm freaking out because I have 3 prescriptions to fill and if they don't see the insurance coverage God knows how much they'll cost. So unfortunately I'm taking it all out on my poor husband because his stupid job is fucking everything up. (PMSing!)

So I drop off the prescriptions and go home. I get into some comfy clothes and try to relax. relax mel, its not a big deal. I mean initially I had wanted to have surgery at the end of august or early sept anyway. Plus at this point I felt kind of relieved. Like I would be able to just have a break and stop rushing.

But then I get a call from my surgeon's office. They got the report from the gastro guy. I figured they're calling to push my date back. But no, they just say "just take the pills for 2 weeks as directed and you can still have the surgery by the 17th". So while I should be super ecstatic. I'm just a little raw from all the ups and downs. I was relieved but now I'm back on the roller coaster. I'm gonna look at it this way. I can relax during the pre op diet. I'm gonna be miserable drinking only liquids so I should rest and nap as much as possible.