What was that look for?

Today someone gave me a look. LOL. you should have seen this look! but i'll get to that....

Today I was so happy to finally have the car and go on an outing instead of spending the day here all alone. Did I mention my husband and I share a car? Yeah. Usually its not a problem. If I need the car for an apt he works from home. But normally I'm fine staying home and vegging out most days. If I really want to get out of the house I'll take him to work and pick him up. The problem with that is by the time I'm done running around I get home and want to nap, not face traffic head on to pick him up.

But anyway today I decided I wanted the car. I had things to do. One of those things was heading to Michaels Arts and Crafts to get a couple of latch hook kits. My grandma is soo lonely and always begging me to visit her. But its SO boring in her old uncomfortably hot house that I always make excuses not to go. My husband suggested taking something that we could do together, some kind of craft. I thought of latch hooking. My grandmother had taken us to get latch hook supplies when we were kids and I loved it. I haven't done it in years and I've been wanting to. So I figured that was a perfect solution. However Michaels didn't have any latch hook stuff. I'll have to try Jo Ann's Fabrics. But I did get string to make friendship bracelets. I've been in the mood to make them for months! Yay! something fun to do :)

Then I went right next door to Barnes and Noble. I spent a lot of time here looking for books that were suggested to me in the obesityhelp.com forums. I had a list of about 10 books. I found one. I ended up going to customer service to ask what section the other books were in. Now, mind you, these books all had titles like "shrink yourself" "no more overeating" "the so and so diet" so its pretty obvious I'm a fat girl looking for books to make me skinny. Actually most of these books are psychological and will help me address why i eat (emotional, boredom, etc) and how to change those habits. These are essential tools in the process of changing my life. Because the surgery is only one piece of this puzzle. If I don't change the wiring and conditioning that got me to this point i'll just end up here again. So I felt the need, I don't know why, to explain myself to the guy at the customer service desk. I was like "I'm getting Weight Loss Surgery and these books are all related to that" but as soon as the words weight loss surgery came out of my mouth he cringed and said "ssssssss ooooh thats scary" with a face like "oh jesus why?! ew"

Lol. Honestly my reaction in my head was like "don't worry, its fine". Like, why is it seen as this ghastly procedure? I guess maybe I would have had the same reaction a year ago (of course i wouldn't have said it out loud like that). But now I just smile like, whats to be scared of? I'm excited about it and so looking forward to it!

I just had to share that with you guys. It was so funny. The weird thing is I didn't feel any shame in this at all. I would have proudly told anyone in that entire bookstore that I was having wls.

I hope I don't get that reaction from family and friends though. lol. that might not be as funny.