Friday Weigh in

Ok so i told myself i didn't care what the scale said because i was feeling my body change. i thought i might not even weigh in. but i did and it finally moved! i went from 2 weeks of 181.5lbs to 179.5lbs. so i'm finally out of the 180s. yay. i had a goal last month to be at 175lbs by my cruise next friday. at the time the weight was coming off ahead a schedule and i was confident i would achieve this and then some. but that clearly is not going to happen. and thats ok. i'm just glad the numbers are moving. its nice to be able to say i've officially lost 80lbs! woohoo!! :) finally. and it feels really good to be in the 170s even if its barely. because  wow. amazing. now i just gotta tackle the 170s.

i'm so motivated to push myself in the gym. i hate the days when i can't go because i'm too busy like yesterday and today. i'm gonna have to make up for that by going  this weekend.

today is my 6 month follow up with my surgeon. even though its 7 months. at first they told me i could stop taking chewable vitamins after 6 months. then 6 months came around and they said oh no..8 months. now 8 months is around the corner and i bet they're gonna try to extend it. but fuck that. i'm not doing that shit anymore. i hate having to go to the drs office 30 min away just to buy vitamins. eff that. i want to be able to just go to the store and get them. i don't know if i'll be able to even handle a regular multi because they're horse pills and i have problems taking pills. especially now that i can't gulp water anymore. i don't like pills to even touch my tongue or i gag and throw them up. i need to get a bunch of water in my mouth, throw the pill in and swallow.

they're gonna weigh me. of course probably right after lunch. so the number won't be the same as mine. but thats ok their scale has always been giving diff numbers than mine. but i started with my scale so my scale is the one that matters to me. other than that i expect the usual banter. and probably some blame for stalling. and somehow they'll make me feel like i'm not doing enough. not gonna even let them get to me.

my dr's office is in the same building as a whole foods so it gives me an excuse to go. so i'm more excited about that. lol.

ok everyone, have an awesome friday! :)


*update* typical doctor apt with my surgeon. they kept me waiting an hour. then his assistant, bc i never actually see the surgeon, tells me the same shit. you should have lost more by now. as if i'm supposed to lose ridiculous numbers a month. i'm sorry i'm not a RNY patient. i don't lose that fast. then she has the nerve to tell me to cut out carbs. you dumb bitch. i probably eat better than any of her fucking patients. so i gave her an earful. i said look i've been eating meticulously for months. its NOT what i eat. she didn't even bother saying anything supportive like "stalls happen, just keep going" or "you're doing well, don't get hung up on numbers, you notice your body changing so thats good" or "everyone loses differently". nope. only criticism. i told her everyone loses at a different pace. i stood up for myself. i was not going to sit there and be talked down to when i've done nothing wrong. and them of all people should be more supportive. ugh fucking jerks. and then they assume that i'm gonna do my plastic surgery with them. psh yeah right.