i said i would never go back to school

i STILL have dreams about school. where i panic because i'm new there or because its the end of the semester and i didn't go to my classes and now i'm gonna fail. maybe i have these dreams for a reason. maybe deep down i knew i wasn't done. the thought of taking tests and stuff again....not crazy about it. but as long as i never have to write another fucking paper again then i'm fine.

i toured SAE today. and i have to say i am SO EXCITED!! it seems sooooooo cool!! its so small and intimate and laid back. i mean i feel like this is such a friendly and close environment to learn. i may only have 7-10 ppl in my class. the assignments look super fun. the instructor is super cool and nice and knowledgeable. i mean its just so awesome. i'm sooo excited!!

this is for me. it really is. its perfect. and i will work really hard and i know i will excel. i will. i'm so excited. i would start tomorrow if i could!!

I made cake!

ed was so wonderful this week but especially this weekend. i'm so well taken care of. you know when i showed him the video (from the last post) he said "you looked beautiful." WOW. that made me feel so adored. :)

anyway he's been giving me anything i want this weekend and what i wanted saturday night was cake.

so i bought the cake mix and made it. and i gotta say its the most perfect cake i ever made. i actually evened it out and it came out really perfect. not a lumpy mess like usual. i forgot to add the oil! so after 3 min in the oven i had to take the pans out, empty them into a bowl, add the oil, mix and put the batter back in the pans. lol. but it came out moist and delicious!

Meli's short SPECIAL

Finally! As promised! Here it is...

On the road to recovery

other than some slight bruising and minor swelling i'm almost back to normal. yesterday i was able to sleep in my bed! yes! thank god. and i ate real food...it hurt but i didn't give a fuck. today was less painful. but i can really only chew on one side of my mouth. tomorrow i go in for my follow up and get these fucking stitches out. they're driving me crazy. i had no idea it would take this long to recover. i probably won't be pain/swelling free till mid week!

video coming soon.

monday night ed's brother's family is coming because we're touring the school together on tuesday!! yaaayyy! i'm so excited!! i wish i could go back to school next week. i just wanna start already.

post surgery day 4

Last night was really rough. The vicodin took forever to kick in and i was so uncomfortable on the couch. i couldn't get comfortable! i just wanted to lay my head down so bad. ugh it was terrible. i don't think i can take one more night on the couch. i sincerely hope the swelling goes away so i can lay on my bed tonight.

thats it. they said 3 days! its day 4! go away already! grr! the swelling has gone down a bit. a good bit i guess. its early still. i'm guessing it will continue to go down throughout the day. it better. i don't care about chewing. i don't care about being ache free. i just want the swelling to go down today so i can LAY DOWN and go to sleep for he first time in 3 days!!!!

*update*
i fell asleep sitting up on couch. so tired. so uncomfortable. oh and i got my period. yes. i got it 2 weeks ago but i just got off the pill on sunday so my body thinks its time. so yeah. just add that to everything.

Post surgery day 3

Hmmm...weird changes. I rinsed my mouth last night. Not sure it was a good idea. or maybe it was a good idea in the same way cleaning out a deep gash is a good idea. it still hurts like a bitch.

feels like my mouth was hit by a truck. constant swelling and tightness even on drugs. i'm getting really sick of sitting up all the time, especially during sleep. i wanna lay my head down so bad!!!

my stomach is gurgling. gassy. feels like i'm on xenical again with the watery/oily bms. (tmi i know). but its my blog so there. here's the thing. i stopped taking the pill (birth control) sunday so i'm not sure if this is from that or what. hard to say what affect its having since there's no control to this experiment. i guess i'll find out about that in a week or so.

its early still. just woke up. i'll update later. todays gonna be good foodwise though because i have soup, feta, and LOTS of ice cream. right ed?



look at me! i'm dressed and off the couch! i washed my sheets and comforter and pillow case. and i even did the dishes. and i'm up and dressed. thats more than i've done in 2 days. go me.

but i'm in pain. my face and head are throbbing. today is the worst day.

post surgery day 2

its 7:54am. i woke up about 10 min ago. i slept on the couch so i could sleep with my head elevated.

sidebar: for various positioning reasons its been hard for me to type and i'm either typing at a weird angle, stretching to reach the keyboard, or typing with one hand as i've been on the couch since i got home yesterday. its been comfy but forgive my awful typing whether it be on here or ims. especially ims since i don't have the time or effort to keep correcting my spelling.

anyway i took a pain killer before bed. i haven't had any bad pain since i woke up from my nap yesterday which is awesome. and then i took a tylenol that time and sat up. i got a little pain with the feta but thats because some pieces weren't mushy enough and i had to work on them with my tongue and ended up doing a chewing motion even though there was no food in my back teeth.

thats another thing. i feel like there's who knows what in my mouth. i haven't been able to brush or rinse and i feel little things on my teeth that i wanna pick out but they told me not to go poking around with my tongue. i can feel my stitches. so i just have to let it be. i'm taking penicillin 4 times a day so that should hold back the infections till i'm finally able to rinse. i dare not brush though. that would be awful and painful.

anyway i'm feeling good now. i went to bed last night at 2am nice and tired. i propped myself on the couch. i'm normally a big tosser and turner. i've been hot since i came home last night. i've been needing it cold in here. but i think its because the leather couch gets hot. when i get up to pee i'm freezing. last night i slept with no covers and its 69 degrees in here. my top half feels cold to the touch but the warmth of my back half makes up for it and regulates my temp. today i'm not craving real food as much today so far which is so cool. 3 days is enough time to reprogram my body. so hopefully after this i get used to eating smaller (very small, pudding cup size portions) throughout the day. my body definitely feels better. :) maybe i can reprogram myself to stop sucking my finger and curling my hair. my biggest vice. i've been doing it since i was a kid.

today ed is back to work today. so i'm on my own. i should be ok though. however i'll have to actually get up from the couch today. lol.

post surgery.

isn't that just an awful pic? that was right after surgery. ed really didn't like seeing me like that.

can't chew, doctors orders say cold and soft first day.

when i finally ate at 5pm (hadn't eaten in over 12 hours) i ate 2 pudding cups. then tried to sleep. what else did i eat today?



-1 slurpee
-bowl of ice cream (not pictured)

i was sick of sweet soft stuff. so i got the idea to eat feta. its soft enough to mush with my tongue. it was great. i got my salty fix. and now i got white bread and smushed it flat and i'm eating a little piece at a time. sucking on it.

i feel like i've been eating all day but nothing is filling, hopefully the bread helps.

i'm gonna have a hard time sleeping tonight. gonna have to sleep on couch propped up. probably only in chunks of time.

by the way i documented this experience so look out for the next short report.

the cutest thing ever ever ever

i was cleaning the kitchen and i saw these pages cut out of a flyer for some store. they were pages with cribs and other baby stuff that was on sale. ed must have pulled them out and put them aside. i just completely collapsed with cuteness. he might swear up and down that he just kept them in case someone else needed them or something like that. but i know that deep down he saved them for us. because in the back of his mind he's thinking about it and saying hey we might need these. that to me is just the most beautiful thing ever. it just melted my heart to pieces.

This week in review.

this week has been SO CRAZY. too much to talk about. but a quick recap:

foot pain = tendonitis
mouth pain=surgery to remove 3 wisdom teeth on tuesday
banged up my parents car= my dad was so sweet about it. thank god.

finally found a doc in coral gables. nice lady. a recap of my visit

she asked if i was planning to get pregnant within a year. i said i was trying to lose weight first and now i'm pushing it back even more because i'm going back to school so i probably won't for a few years. she says...

-don't feel like you HAVE to lose weight for a baby. you might even end up losing weight in the process.
-couples should have children 1-2 yrs into the marriage
-you should start taking prenatal vitamins now
-you shouldn't wait too long at your age
-don't feel like you need to have a house, babies don't need much
-you should get off birth control. its not healthy to be on it a long time. a. you stop producing certain hormones and b. you increase your risk of getting breast cancer

conclusion: i've decided to get off birth control as of today. i've been on it on and off for 9 yrs. i've also decided i shouldn't try to plan out my life so much. i have a loose plan. i want to start school, i want to learn editing, i want to get a job. but i'm gonna be more easy going. i'm not going to set limits for myself and forbid myself from doing certain things. because i feel nothing will ever be perfect enough. i'm not trying to have a kid. but i'm not trying so hard not to.

oye pero P.S.

i never got around to the cooking thing. its been that kind of week.

ME WANT CAKE

I wanna take this and rub it all over my face before i eat it.

I am the poor man's Juan Miguel Torres-Falcon

With 1/4 the talent, charisma, and good looks. But with 90% of the unaccountability.

We both won't check our voice mails or return your calls. We both will flake out on plans we talk about making. The only difference is I'll respond to your emails and various other electronic messages (facebook, myspace, etc).

His reasons? He's super busy and has many friends and commitments. Mine? I'm a lazy bitch who doesn't like in person/over the phone contact.

BAD WEEK

1. ed was massaging my feet and i guess he pressed too hard on the top of my foot and i sprained or fractured something. because its all swollen on the top of my foot to my ankle. painful to he touch and i can't point my foot either.

2. my wisdom teeth that i've neglected are coming back to bite me so to speak. the one on the top right is coming out and its hurting. on both sides! meaning that even my throat is swollen where the tooth is pushing. so it hurts to swallow, chew, and i can't open my mouth wide. it hurts to yawn. i need to have it and 2 others surgically removed. i called the surgeon and i have to come in at 9am friday and pay $45 just for a consultation. by friday i'll probably be on liquids only.

3. i have my parents car while they're on a cruise. its a big white mini van. i'm used to my small vibe. so i guess i underestimated the gerth while coming out of my parking garage and i scraped the side of the car on a concrete column. the guilt is eating me alive. and i thought that i could get it fixed but the mechanic wants to charge me $850 for it.

today the combination of all these things became so overwhelming that i lost it at the store. i started to cry and i just wanted to collapse to the floor and say "i give up!!". but i had to snap out of it and say look its not that bad. there are plenty worse things in life. i can handle this. tv helped get my mind off it.

then...the silver lining in the cloud was that Barack Obama is coming to UM to speak on friday. so i signed up to get a free ticket. but i had no one to go with. ed tells me he's gonna go with me. this is HUGE. because he is willing to take off work for the morning at least and share this experience with me. this makes me so happy. but when i go to get another ticket (for my grandmother who i was going to bring along) i see that there are no tickets left. so now i can't go with ed. and i have no one to go with.

and there you go. a shitty week and its only tuesday. i've got 3 whole days for this shit to keep falling. i already know a friend is coming over tomorrow and i really just wanna be alone but i promised him. and friday i have to be at dadeland by 9am for this stupid consultation. be at dadeland at 9am. from coral gables. guess what time i have to leave. guess what time i have to wake up. yeah..its not gonna be fucking pretty at all.

It's Official!!!

We are an official site with our own domain. We now own roodboiproductions.com

So go ahead and check it out! I'll slowly be adding to the site to make it more professional. But I had to share! yipeee!!!

www.roodboiproductions.com

All day cookfest

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow? I'm going to cook dinner for the whole week!!! cool huh? It will prolly take all day but it will be fun like thanksgiving.

I've always heard that you should do this. But I never got around to it. So we'll see if its worth all the trouble. I think it will be good for the veggies. This way they won't go back sitting in the fridge. I'll report back this week to see how it goes.

on a side note i fear we've been spending way to much on groceries. we've been doing little groceries every day this week. :/ i guess we'll find out at the end of the month.

Teach the people

I've been lucky enough to be exposed to so many things that most people (my friends especially) haven't been exposed to. I know they're smart people they're just ignorant to some things. But thats not their fault. I'm not saying I'm superior in any way. I still struggle to express thoughts with words I can only form emotions. And believe me it makes me feel like a caveman most times. But there's soooo much out there that people need to know about.

You know what I'd like to do? Start a movie club. And every week we'll watch a movie that I feel is important for people to see. Things that will open their eyes to whats going on in this country and the world around them.

Things like An Inconvenient Truth, Who killed the electric car?, Sicko, Chicago 10, The Company and lots of other things. There are so many great films I haven't seen and I want to fill my brain with as much as possible.

Think anyone would be interested in that?

Mccain under cover

Sometimes I think Mccain is working under cover. He can't tell us, although some of the things he has to say is killing him. Its not in his nature. He just needs to do it to get elected. And once he's in office he can say "I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you guys, but I couldn't.", and he'll be the old Mccain.

Oh God that has to be the case. Because I'm gonna barf watching him on the view. He's all about buzzwords. "Country First", "God", "Prisoner of war".

I hate Miami

whatever it was in my childhood, its not that anymore. there's nothing about this place that appeals to me. its going to hell in a hand basket. the people are awful. everybody wants something for nothing. companies don't know the value of workers. there's no sense of community. the young people are superficial and clueless. miami is playground for the rich and thats about it.

honestly there's nothing here that i like and its not a place i want to raise my kids. my parents get so offended when i tell them what i think about miami but its not the miami of my childhood. its gotten bad. the ONLY thing holding me here is my friends and family. but i don't fit in here either. i didn't fit in back in boston and i don't fit in here. and both for different reasons. i wish there was a happy medium. south florida is just so lame. i don't feel like we contribute anything. and there's no music scene here! there's nothing! this place sucks!

this is not the place for us. i know that. its a temporary stop on our life road. we're here for a reason. we'll do what we need to do but i don't see us staying here too long. 5 years maybe. its not a permanent stop. its not for us. we're too good for this place. i don't know where we'd go. and i'd still face the whole loneliness thing. who knows...orlando? New York? i dunno. i feel like ed can do better than the companies down here. he deserves better.

its just not the place to raise my kids. unless it gets better. but i doubt it. it will just get worse and worse.

I love seeing them like this

They're more relatable in these young pics. Not like parents. Like a young couple. Learning as they go. Not so judgmental.

just trying to do the right thing but i'm getting a not so good feeling

and whats up with people not responding to emails or voice mails? what a way to run a business.

Episode 4

Presidential Kids

John Mccain's daughter Meagan (sp?) Mccain was on The View today and I gotta say, I love her! She's so cool and NORMAL. She loves her dad and is super supportive even though she differs from him on many issues. She's very outspoken and unapologetic about it which I LOVE. I have to say of all the presidential kids she is by far the best.

I never liked the Bush twins but Jenna grew on me. And Chelsea is just annoying to me. But this is the first offspring I can actually relate to. She's not a robot. She seems like a real down to earth person. Like any normal girl her age. And I love her.

:( something is wrong with my throat

friday i had a bad headache. i went to sleep for like 2 hours and woke up with the same headache. then i got sick real quick. felt feverish but i had no temperature. its like this sick came up on me all of a sudden. its weird. then this morning i had some cereal with strawberries and all of a sudden my throat started hurting real bad. i figured out that it was something to the right of my uvula (that dangly thing at the back of the throat). it was like a zit. it was painful! i couldn't swallow. it was a sharp pain. it hurt. i tried gargling with warm water and salt. it didn't go away but the pain subsided. it got a little smaller. well now at like..i dunno 2 am i started getting the pain again! but this time to the left of my uvula. the same zit type thing! ouuuucchh. this made me really worry. its not nothing. i mean i get the same thing in 2 spots? i tried looking it up. the most i could come up with is that it might possibly be strep throat. although i didn't see anything about zits. strep is more like puss or little red dots on the back of the throat. but it did talk about fevers and headaches. so maybe.

the thing that sucks is that i don't have a general doctor. only a dentist and a gyno. so i don't know what to do. i could just pick any old doc in the area but usually you have to make appts way in advance and then you have to fill out all that paperwork. maybe there's a clinic somewhere that i could go to. or..can you just walk into a hospital and ask to see a doctor??

rudy and vanessa but no theo

the obamas are like the huxtables. i love that.

episode 3 - silliness

Life Plans

Going through life without a plan sucks. I'm the kind of person that needs to plan out every day in order to get things done. I had a plan but it was really vague and spread out. Now I have a more specific plan and I'm sooooooo excited!! I wish I could lay it out on my blog but its something I'd like to keep to myself until all plans are finalized.

But I have the rest of the year planned out working on my project. Looking forward to the fall and the holidays. :) There's nothing better than having a plan for after the holidays. Like last year. By Christmas of next year i plan to have my shit together. You'll see.

In the meantime I'm still working on myself. On my health. And little by little seeing little changes. :)

The view, Palin, and America's pattern of abusive relationships

When watching the view I was expecting elizabeth would be praising mccain and palin. fine. thats to be expected. but sherri, who although conservative was very pro obama, was now saying all these crazy things. i think she maybe spent too much time with Lizzy over the break. they seem to share the same brain.

first Lizzy says that Palin has more experience than Obama. WHAT??? then sherri goes off in her "i scream in a ghetto tone to get the audience cheering for me" voice saying that sarah palin is a mother of 5 and that alone qualifies her to run the country. WOW. she also went on to say that she represents all women, from Tiffany to Laquita. Oh hell no bitch. you must be fucking crazy.

I have to honestly say that i don't feel the whole feminist thing here. i don't feel the "woman power" thing with sarah palin. i'm just annoyed and angry. hillary paid her dues and fought her way to the primaries. this bitch was just plucked out of her podunk state as a strategic chess move by mccain's campaign. so no. i don't feel proud that a woman has gotten that far. i can't say that i do. i fee proud of hillary. i guess its NOT just about any woman. its about the right woman.

the more i learn about sarah palin the more i'm confident that people will see right through this charade. she'll dig her own grave and this chess move will blow up in mccain's face. but perhaps i'm giving the american people too much credit. after all, despite four years with a horrible president they went ahead and elected him for another 4 yrs!!

and hearing these two women on the view so excited and gung ho about this palin lady scared me. i mean it really scared me. this means that alot of other women feel this way. and it dawned on me that despite the obvious need for a change in this country we could end up with mccain. and frankly i don't know if i could take it. i can't take another 4 yrs of this shit. how much abuse do the american people need to endure before they will wise up?? america is like a girl with an abusive boyfriend. KICK HIM TO THE CURB GIRL!! LEAVE HIM!!! YOU NEED TO GETCHOSELF A GOOD MAN!

*those aren't direct quotes. just recalling from memory.

N.K.O.T.B. on The View

The New Kids on the Block were on The View today. I was excited. Then they performed. And they were AWFUL!! Not only was the song terrible but Joey's voice is disgusting. He's like an idol reject. Sorry you're not 15 anymore. Thats when your voice peaked. The only one with a nice singing voice is Jordan. He should do all the singing. Joey should just sit back and look pretty.

Is it just me or is the boy band thing just pathetic at this age? I mean...New Edition tried to comeback too. Remember that shit?

At least Boyz2Men can sing. And they don't dance around in unison. They just sing. Sure they haven't had any good songs in 10 yrs but they're probably the only group of men who can pull it off at that age.

I'm excited.

I'm optimistic. I really am. I see my life getting interesting. I see great things in my future. I haven't felt this good since I started doing voice over. I'm proud of myself. I'm excited for my future. And I'm so undyingly grateful that I have a grounded supportive husband to guide me.