The Disaster that was Thanksgiving Weekend

it started out well enough. the drive up was cool. i even got to watch the whole parade from beginning to end. it was so enjoyable. and on top of all that i got my period!! for the first time in 2 months!!! my first period since i got off the pill in sept. funny part? i didn't bring any pads or tampons (this was the last thing i was expecting) and doris is like 60 something so you know she didn't have anything in her house. so yeah...that was a sitcom moment. then we had a lunch with doris, took a nap, and went to tricia's house for dinner. it wasn't what i expected. when i got there everyone ate and it was more like a party than thanksgiving dinner. it turned into a big crazy party. it was pretty fun but i was hoping for some family time. but thats ok, we had the whole weekend. one thing i should mention is that the previous day most of the family was sick with a stomach virus. so some of them couldn't even eat. poor tricia didn't eat all that night.

cut to friday. we go over to manny and tricia's place. we have some leftovers. we play cranium. me and ed and the kids do a fast food/ice cream run, then we played rock band 2! that night tricia's younger sister and james (ed's middle nephew) were complaining about stomach pains and went to bed. then we went home.

cut to saturday at 8am. i roll over and ed's not in bed. i woke up and walked into the living room and see pillows and a sheet on the couch. i thought....did doris sleep on the couch last night? nah she'd never leave (she went to orlando that morning) without making the couch perfect again. ed is in the bathroom. i wait for him. he gets out i say whats up?? why are you out here. he says i couldn't sleep, i was so nauseous and i've been in and out of the bathroom all morning. oh no!! sounds like he got the virus!! so i went to cvs and got a bunch of medicines. then i came home, ate some crackers and a sandwich, then took a nap. my tummy started to hurt. so i asked ed to bring me some gas-x because it felt like i had this giant gas bubble. this has been happening to me lately so i didn't think anything of it. i kept having these pains as i was trying to nap until i ran to the bathroom with this feeling that i haven't felt in years I HAD TO THROW UP!! omg it was awful. do you know what its like to have to go to the bathroom and then right after you're done you have to turn around and throw up??? ugh its awful!! i wouldn't wish it on anyone!! i ended up throwing up three times that morning. the rest of the day ed and i just stayed in the house and laid around all day. i was sore sore and feverish. my face looked like death. throwing up made my skin break out in this rash and i looked like i had 2 black eyes and the skin around my mouth turned dark.

sunday morning. i woke up so so so sore. all my stomach muscles and my sides. still can't eat. just drank some gatorade. we were able to pack up and get the fuck out of there. the whole ride i had stomach pain but luckily i never had to go to the bathroom. we got home. i was able to eat a small box of cereal with no milk. we took a nap and my eyes were hurting when i woke up. i looked in the mirror and what do i see?



so yeah. my everything hurts. i'm kind of hungry since i've only eaten a mini box of cereal and 5 grapes since saturday morning. but my stomach is so sensitive i'm scared to eat. but at least i'm not grossed out at the thought of all food.

thank god i had ed take monday off last week. so he has an extra day to rest. we really need to recover. i hope my eyes get better. its a little scary.

*Update*
As of Monday here's a list of all the people who got infected:

Tricia, Manny, Emmanuel, Nathaniel, James (ed's brother's fam); Christina and Bethany (tricia's sisters), Marc (bethany's boyfriend), Joel and Rosa (tricia's friend and her son), Charm and Amani (ed's other sis in law and niece), Jen and Alan (friends of the family); Me and Ed.

Apple Pastries

well..here they are. i've never used fillo dough before. haven't tasted these yet. we'll see...

i'll give you $50 if you'll let me take a nap right now

so its monday before thanksgiving. i have lots to do before we drive to ft meyers on wed. today i took ed to work and took the car to the dealership. i had to leave it there so they could assess it. they'll call me later to come get it. chances are they have to order the parts i need and nothing will be fixed. but i'll still have to pay a $40 service charge plus pay up front for any parts that have to be ordered. so it looks like i'll be driving to ft meyers with half of the radio light out. which sucks lots because i can't see what time it is in the car.

i had to take 2 buses to get home. but the 2nd bus never came. so i ended up walking 12 city blocks home. did i mention i only got like 5 hours of sleep last night?

i don't feel like attempting to take the bus back. i'm gonna ask the dealership guy for a ride there.

i'm working on burning some cds for the car ride. one will be fun upbeat songs to keep me awake and the other will be christmas songs to get me in the mood.

i was gonna cut my hair but i dunno. i'm kinda digging this flat iron thing. my hair looks pretty cool really straight and long, especially in pigtails. i'm diggin' it. we shall see.

I want a big family

I've always loved movies with big families getting together for Christmas. I've always wanted a family like that. But its only me and my sis and we don't get along. I get that feeling on Christmas with all the cousins but its so fleeting. I have to tell you, i'm so lonely. All my cousins have moved away and i'm used to being around a big family. always having people to hang out with and always going to someone's house for no reason at all. i miss it so much. i miss having that big family. its gone now.


thats why i want to have a big family. i have a lot of cousins but i wouldn't say there's a matriarch or patriarch that brings everyone together. i want to be that. i want to be the big momma that everyone comes home to for thanksgiving and christmas. i want to have 4 or 5 kids. i want to have a big family full of love. i want my kids to feel like they're not alone in this world. i want the family bond to be really really strong. my family is ok but a bit dysfunctional and ed's family, well he didn't grow up in a big loving family. so its something i really want to have with our children. i know its a lot of work. i know its expensive. but i know people with lots of kids who make it work in a small house or in a den. is it so wrong in this day and age to want a big family? i have so much love to give. i'm bursting.

the problem is i'm almost 30 and haven't had one kid. if we space them out like we want to i don't think i'll be able to have all the kids i want. :(

everyone has an opinion. but no one can argue whats in my heart. maybe what i want is not what you would want but everyone is different. how can it be wrong when you want something so much? this isn't something new. i've always had these feelings but never really realized them till now. i'm finding out more and more about myself.

*update*
ed's reply: "I'm not worried about the big family thing as long as we take it 1 step at a time." :)

gas from hell

its 4am and i haven't slept a wink. (i went to bed at midnight)
why? because i have the worst gas ever. and not because i was farting a lot. in fact farting would be a blessing from god right now. i've had this pain in my stomach since i went to bed and nothing comes of it. no passing gas, no having to go to the bathroom, just the constant pain you get right before a bathroom attack. its horrible!!!!

i tried everything to make myself release the gas. but nothing. i got up to go to he bathroom thinking that maybe squatting down will help. it didn't. i sat there forever and eventually had a very painful BM. i've been having painful BMs for weeks now. hemorrhoids. they come and go but usually if i drink lots of water and take lots of showers they go away. these haven't gone away. but at least they're not so bad that i have to sit on a donut (its gotten very very bad before) its just been painful and hard to pass poops. i felt the pain go away for a bit after this one. but then it slowly started to creep up again so i took 2 immodium. i'm telling you man, thank god for these pills. they've gotten me through many a rough nights.

i'm trying to think, is it something i ate? i had salmon, broccoli, and yams. nothing out of the ordinary. i'm hoping these pills kick in soon so i can have some peace.

ugh

i'm getting all the symptoms of a period but no period. :( i haven't gotten my period since i got off the pill. and no i'm not pregnant. i checked. this is annoying man. i hate being irregular. i hate having all the cramping, bloating, fatigue, and moodswings and no fucking period! grr!!

yay it was cold today!!

i'm soo trapped without a car. every week is so boring. just me here by myself all day. sometimes i don't go outside for days.

by the time the weekend comes around i'm so hard up for some driving that i get excited about running errands. today we were in kendall hitting the stores. and i had a blast because it was in the 60s!!! it was DEEELICIOUS!! ugh it was so nice. i truly enjoyed it. it was rare because its a sunday and we were out till 7ish. but thank god because i so needed a day out and about.

i'm so hard up for driving time that i'm so looking forward to driving to ft meyers for thanksgiving! and the cold weather sooo put me in the holiday mood. i was worried because i was trying to muzzle my holiday excitement because it was too early and then i lost it :( i was worried i wouldn't get it back. but thank god! its back! i think its a good sign. this is the 2nd cold day this season. so i'm hoping there will be more to come!!

10 things i love about boston

10 things i love about boston, in no particular order

1. WFNX and WBCN
2. The T
3. The feeling of unity and pride
4. The scene (rock, punk, emo, alternative, etc)
5. The seasons (and the views, breahtaking. just a beautiful place from top to bottom)
6. Getting to wear sweaters
7. The people
8. The Mass Pike (i was NEVER stuck in bumper to bumper traffic)
9. The regulated auto insurance! (we only paid $70 a month!)
10. The ability to drive to other states in hours
oh and 11. My job at BNN

10 things i didn't like about boston

1. Falling (i fell A LOT)
2. Gas stations close at midnight
3. All restaurants close at 10pm
4. Getting to a Target meant taking the highway to another town
5. The crowds on the T before or after a RedSox game
6. Not knowing anyone, and being shy/antisocial didn't help me make friends
7. no cuban food
8. all the houses and apts were old. rare to find modern buildings
9. None of the Malls had movie theatres
and....i can't think of another one


Note i didn't complain about the drivers. why? because drivers are MUCH worse in miami.

my heart is ripped in half

half my heart is in miami and half my heart is in boston. and no matter what i do i'll always be missing half my heart.

the decision to move here wasn't easy. we have a lot of things that are easier for us down here. but this city has no character. i regret so many adventures i never had. and there were so many to have in that amazing city. but we had no one to have them with. which is why we didn't have them. not the best excuse but an honest one. i wish there could be a happy medium. i really do. miami is empty. it leaves me hollow. i have friends and family and thats it. we have yet to find people "like us". i doubt we ever will. i'm too cool for his city. but what can i do?

my heart will always hurt for you boston.

my writing

someone once criticized my writing by saying it was sloppy and improper. i don't write well. first of all i use all lowercase. i use ellipses (...) all the time. i wrote in run on sentences. all sorts of stuff.

but someone else told me that i write the way i talk. i think that makes me relatable and fun to read. some people get it and really like it. some don't.

The "Thank God I'm Not Pregnant!" Dream

I was so relieved when i woke up today. and you may be surprised to know why.
i only remember little snippets of my dream so i can't explain it very well but here it goes.

DREAM:
i had missed my period. i went with my friends to my gyno. she said i wasn't pregnant yet, but to give it some time and if my period didn't come in the next couple of weeks i'd be pregnant.

that turned into me thinking i was pregnant. no one made any fuss at all. i sat and had a convo with my mom. she asked me if i was showing. i said i felt like i was showing but its hard to tell on me. i told her i was upset because no one was making a big deal. she said its because it wasn't really my baby. i was having it for that lesbian over there. i said but it IS my baby! i'm gonna raise it with her. i'll be its mother. so i deserve some excitement from people. but i felt really sad and worried. this is not how i wanted it to happen. not like this. not now. i didn't want to have a baby with a lesbian. i'm not a lesbian. i want to have a baby with ed! oh no what did i get myself into? oh god its too late now, there's nothing i can do. then my mom asked "are you sure you're pregnant?" and i remembered back to the gyno apt. she never actually said i was pregnant. in fact she said i wasn't yet. THANK GOD!!!! I'M NOT PREGNANT!!! and then i woke up beaming from ear to ear. never so glad to not be knocked up.

explanations:

1. i had a conversation with my friend yesterday. i told her i got off the pill and i haven't gotten my period yet. she said to give it a few months for my body to reboot itself. but she also said a friend of hers got off the pill and got pregnant the same month. so that explains the gyno apt in my dream.

2. the lesbian thing is a product of all this Prop 8 stuff i've been seeing everywhere. Last night before i went to sleep there was something on the news about these 2 lesbians that had gotten married before the prop was passed.

3. not being ready for a baby. not wanting it like this. this doesn't mean that i don't want a baby or that i'm in some way not ready to be a parent. this is because i talked to ed about being worried that with the new school loan and school that if something happened and i got pregnant now it would ruin everything. we're taking a financial risk and we have no wiggle room for error here. i can't let anything get me off course. i want to have a baby when i've completed my tasks and i can relax and enjoy pregnancy. i can't do that now. i'm focused on school. i want to do things the right way.

so there you go. i just had to share.

Its a Beautiful Thing Y'all

Barack Obama is our new President

I have never in my life been more proud to be an American. As a matter of fact I don't think I ever had a "proud to be an American" moment. We hadn't done much for me to be proud of. Especially with Bush in the white house. But today I was actually proud.

I will never forget as long as i live where i was when Barack Obama was elected president. I will never forget it. I was here in my apt in coral gables with my husband, my best friend jenny, my friend adrian, my friend ivonne (boncha) and her husband Joel. Today my friend Adrian blew me away when he said that he voted for Obama. This is a guy that I have argued with over and over. He refused to vote. And yet somehow, out of the blue, he went out and voted at the last minute. This act reinforced my faith in people.

The fact that Obama won in Florida is so astoundingly significant. This means things are starting to change.

I will tell my children where i was, show them pictures, tell them stories. I am so fortunate to live in this time.

I'm proud of my fellow Americans. I'm proud of YOU!

Election Day

OMG you guys!! the day has finally come!!! its been so long in the making. frankly we're all sick of the politics and the fighting i'm sure. i was appalled to find out how many friends and acquaintances were not voting. i don't understand how anyone could not care. i just can't fathom that. this has caused me to get into heated conversations with people and its just not worth it. i can't change their minds. i just have to mind my own business.

its just weird how you've been close to these people and you don't even know where they stand politically. i just want this to be over so i can be friends with them again! lol. once barack is in office i can let them off the hook. pero si gana mccain, preparate! they're all gonna hear it from me.

i understand apathy at 20. but at nearly 30? its just sad. ignorance is never cute.


anyway whatever today is the day and i'm optimistic. getting the apt ready for my election party. a party at which probably only one of my guests will have voted. but whatever. can't wait!!! i've never had a party here before. probably only 1 or 2 will show but whatever.


GO OBAMA!!!!

SNL does The View!!! hahaha!!

EVEN MORE LOLS!!! THEY DO KEITH OLBERMAN! this is only funny if you watch his show. and i've been watching it a lot thanks to ed.