Plastic surgery

will i be in a bikini this summer. no. but i'm hoping that by my 1 yrd surgerversary i will have reached my goal weight. and hoping to have plastic surgery before the end of the year. i really can't wait to get rid of this damn gut. it is the bane  of my existence. i'm scared to death of going in for surgery again. i'm afraid of the recovery, the pain, the drains, the discomfort, the possible complications. but i don't care. i want this thing gone. its been torturing me for over 15 yrs. i want it gone. i want to be normal.

in an ideal world i would love to have a lower body lift (tummy tuck/thighs/ass lift) along with arms, boob lift, and remove the back fat/skin. i'd be a fucking frankenstein. but i don't care.

realistically that would cost like 100k. so if nothing else i just want the tummy tuck and the thigh job. my upper thighs are an ugly deflated mess. i could live with saggy boobs. i'm gonna have kids and they're gonna fluctuate anyway. i could live with saggy arms for a while. what i can't live with is the gut. my quality of life will go through the roof once that thing is gone and frankly i can't wait.

so will i be in a bikini by the summer? no. but if i can get surgery by aug or sept i can maybe sneak some bikini time in before it gets cold here in miami. :)

Blueberry Freak Out!

My lovely husband bought me a giant sized bag of frozen blueberry for my new addiction. When I looked at the back of the bag I almost fell on the floor. 12g of sugar???? what??? I looked at the old bag of blueberries and it said the same thing. Oh god oh god oh GOD! I've eaten so many of these! I looked at the ingredients to see if they had added stuff to it. But no it just said blueberries. So now I'm thinking, maybe this is just the natural amount of sugar that comes in the blueberries. WHEW!

I mean it still makes me nervous. Because I've been eating these on the regular. I would say maybe a cup a day. Which is a serving size, 12g of sugar. But I had heard that blueberries are low on the glycemic index, as are strawberries. It makes me wonder....you never see the nutritional info of fresh produce. Imagine if they had the sugar content of all fruit on the packaging.

So...are blueberries ok or what? i hope so!

Delicious Low carb sugar free Red Velvet cake

Um heellooo??? YUUPP! it's true!!!!!

I found this recipe  and finally got around to trying it. And guess what?? It totally delivered everything it promised. You'll definitely want to try this. I'm not a hug cake person. Personally I always saw cake as a vehicle for frosting and chocolate cake especially is not my fav. But this cake was so flavorful and moist, i was blown away. It's so lovely tasting. My husband complained it wasn't as sweet as he was expecting, the frosting and the cake. But the cake is phenomenal and the frosting is just right. It's not sickly sweet, its nice and light and mild. It really compliments the cake well. A total winner in my book! Can't wait to make this for guests!

For more pics and details go to my tumblr page here.

Deliciousness

Just wanted to say, this is my new fav. If you haven't tried it, you should. I'm finally eating my greek yogurt and lots of it.

Blueberry Greek Yogurt.

I microwave some frozen blueberries for about 30 sec. Then pour the juice and the blueberries into the greek yogurt (I make 4oz batches) and sprinkle with a packet of splenda. Omg!! I'm not a fan of yogurt but with the blueberry flavor and the splenda omg this is sooooo goood!! And having all those blueberries in there (i don't skimp on the blueberries, you don't see the ones mixed into the yogurt) is like heaven. If you're a blueberry fan you should try it. SSOOOOO GOOD! Its such a good sweet treat after dinner or in the early evening as a snack.

just realized

i'm 1lb away from my March 25th goal :) and its still jan :)

Update on new protein powder

i have to say this new protein powder is throwing off my whole eating/drinking schedule. it seems like now i get more full and stay full longer which makes it difficult to get food in.

let me explain.

before i would drink an EAS ready to drink shake in the mornings, then go to the gym and have a bottle of water. then i would have breakfast or brunch (eggs whites and cheese with a slice of toast). then i would have 2 more bottles of water before dinner and maybe a slice of cheese or peanuts as a snack. then i would have dinner. whatever bit of whatever meal i make for me and my husband. then i would finish my 4th water bottle and call it a night.

i ate 2 real meals a day. my brunch and my dinner. but now...this new protein powder has kind of thrown me off. i drink it in the morning but i stay full for like 2 hours. i can't even drink my water. then i want to eat. not because i'm hungry but because i want something salty and chewy. but i have to drink my water first. now i find myself drinking my first water in the late late afternoon. i don't have room for eggs and stuff so i just eat a slice of cheese or peanuts. and then i have to struggle to get my water in because now my waters keep me full for so long. i used to get hungry after water because it would empty out my pouch. but now it just keeps me full. its crazy. its 6:30pm and i have only had 1 shake, 1 water, a slice of cheese and some peanuts. and i'm so full. don't know when i'll drink my other waters.

as far as dinner goes? i made steak last night. once it was cooked i realized..i can't eat this. i'm too full. so i just let my husband have mine and i ended up, much later in the night, having greek yogurt and a slice of cheese.

its weird!!! i mean, its a good thing right? seems like a really good thing. but i have to adjust. i have to find a new rhythm here. right now i'm struggling to get my waters in.

nutrition=contradictions.

Its really hard to keep up with all the trends in nutrition. personally i hate nutrition. why? because every month  (or every week) someone is coming up with some new theory that completely contradicts everything you were previously told about nutrition.

one week they're telling you eggs are bad for you, then they're telling you eat eggs.
avoid coffee. coffee once a day could be good for your heart!

you get the idea.

everyone jumped on the organic bandwagon. get back to eating natural foods. real butter, fresh bread, real milk. then on the other side you can't have sugar so you have to eat sugar substitutes. but the naturalist says "those are poisons!"

and no matter what kind of milk you use they all have at least 8g of sugar. so what are you supposed to do? not drink milk? cheese is high fat. but its got good protein. now i'm hearing avoid dairy. avoid dairy?!!! are you crazy??

not only that, apparently now its all about gluten free. when did this happen? oats and grains and shit is bad for us now? oatmeal? cereal? bread? really?

so whats left for us to eat?? water and lettuce. all the lettuce you can eat.

ugh i hate nutrition. i say just find what works for you and stick with it. and don't get hung up on the latest trends.

Follow up on my new protein powder

I have to say everytime i see this tub on the counter i get excited! I look froward to drinking my protein shake in the morning. 1 scoop plus 8oz milk =31g protein. wow. compared to the 17g from the EAS this is way better. my protein levels have really gotten a boost.

i want to use it in everything! so far i've used it in shakes, ice cream, oatmeal, even pancakes! and its delicious! my husband loved the pancakes.

wow i can't believe after all this time i actually found a protein powder i like. its almost like i'm waiting for the catch. this is proof that its possible for you to find the protein powder that works for you.

I finally found a protein powder i actually like!

First of all I just wanna say hello you beautiful ladies! I hope you're all having a lovely weekend so far.

Ok so as promised I'm going to talk to you about the protein powder I bought.

I was really hoping for something good here because i read alot of reviews that sang its praises but then again, lots of people sang the praises of Max Protein and i didn't like that at all. But still, it sounded so good Cinnamon Roll flavor..i really wanted it to be good. This tub is 1.5lbs and it cost me about $13 ($20 with shipping). Which is def more of a deal than Max Protein which the smallest tub they sell is 2lbs and its $45. Give me a fucking break.

When I got it I opened it and smelled it. Pretty strong smell. Hmmm..I immediately made a batch with some milk. It was....good. You know how when you first taste something your taste buds are on alert to catch every single taste?? Well thats what mine were doing. and I was a bit skeptical. I was like...hmm...its good i guess. It was really really creamy, and thick like a milkshake. And that was just in the shaker. I gave it to my husband and he drank it all.

Then I tried it and added some sugar free Torani Irish Cream syrup. WOAH MAMA!!! this tasted like dessert alright!! It tasted like...do you guys remember Bennigans? They had mudslides and Celtic Creamsicle. Well it tasted like a celtic creamsicle which was my FAV!! wow. 

I used it to make protein ice cream and it came out yum. I also wanna use it in pancaked and oatmeal. This stuff has amazing potential. 

I just had a shake this morning. The more you have it the less your tastebuds are at alert to taste any imperfections. You just taste the creamy cinnamony goodness. The Irish Cream syrup does really take it to that next level though. So glad i have it! I have all these torani flavors i haven't used yet and now i'm getting a lot of use out of this one.

Its been 5 months and I finally found a protein powder I like. I guess Shelly was right, you gotta keep looking and eventually you'll find one that works for you.

One thing i've learned while mixing these syrups with stuff is this. never use sweet chocolatey syrups (chocolate, caramel, irish cream, vanilla, pumpkin) with greek yogurt. its awful. stick to fruity things like mango, strawberry, blueberries, etc). I've learned that the hard way. yuck.

By the way if you wanna see pics of the shake i made or the ice cream check out my food blog here http://sushifabush.tumblr.com/post/2877318092/cinnamon-roll-protein-powder

weigh in

i was doing so well before christmas. on christmas eve i weighed in at 195lbs. amazing. then new years eve i was 195lbs. at least i didn't gain. then a week later i was 192.5lbs. great. the following week i was 192.5lbs. ok wtf. grrr. so thats when i attempted the pouch test. i got through 1 and a half days of all liquids. i guess it helped because today i weighed myself and i'm 189.5lbs. i should really step back and be happy. i'm out of the 190s and i haven't been in the 180s since....wow since i was 18.

i have a goal for march 25th (my 5yr wedding anniversary) to be 186lbs because thats what i was when i met my husband. i had lost 12 lbs righ before i met him. so its my goal to be that weight again for our anniversary. i have like 2 months to lose like 5lbs. i know i can do it and then some. :) very happy about that. i just *hope* that the weightloss goes back to normal and losing 1-2lbs  steadily.

i recently bought a protein powder i actually like! i'll be posting on that later. so maybe that will help me out. this week has been weird. i haven't really worked out at all. weird. need to get back to it.

Day 2...only made it half way

but thats ok. i'm good with that. i need to go back to eating like i was. there was nothing wrong with it. i think doing a cleanse like that for more than one day is bad and will backfire for me. it felt like i was on a diet and i hated that feeling. then today i cracked and had a piece of doughy potato bread. you see? backfire. lol. i don't wanna feel like i'm on a diet. i felt angry and irritated and hating life. and i did this so i'd never have to "diet" again. so sorry 5 day pouch test. no go. hopefully a day and a half was enough to see some change in this week's weigh in. but i think next time i wanna do that i'll just do 2 protein shakes and a sensible dinner.

you know what i miss?

bread. crusty on the outside, doughy in the middle. i'm a bread lover for sure. i miss it man.

for me cakes, pies, candies, whatever. i don't really care. if i need to i'll take a little bite. but bread, i could get lost in it. and even if i wanted to eat it, it just expands and fills up my tummy too much. the good stuff anyway. the fluffy doughy stuff.

what do you miss?

SO WEIRD!!! all liquids made me loopy.

omg so ok because of this whole stall thing i wanted to do something to jump start the weightloss. i figured out the reason i've been so gassy lately is because i've been taking fiber chews for the last 2 weeks. it even says on the bottle, if gassyness occurs lower your dose. so maybe thats the reason i've hardly been losing. who knows. however i thought doing a 5 day pouch test wasn't a bad idea. even though i haven't been eating poorly or anything like that. i just wanted to start from scratch and do a little detox to get the ball rolling again.

so yesterday i was like, why not, lets try it. it was mainly just to see if i could do it. the first half of the day was a breeze. but when 4pm rolled around things started to get real. lol. then around 9pm i was like so close to cheating. but then i kept telling myself, no one cares if you eat some peanuts or a slice of cheese, you're the only one stopping yourself from eating. so i figured, no this is something i decided on my own because i want to see if i can do it. and everytime i was tempted (did i mention i made pizza for my husband last night? talk about will power) i was just like no i've come this far, i just wanna see if i can do it.

so its like midnight. i finished some greek yogurt and it seems to have filled me up. great. let me go to bed before i get hungry again. so i did. now here's where it gets weird. at some point, maybe 30-45 min after i fell asleep, i woke up and i felt like i was high on nyquil. i was touching my skin and everything felt so different. my skin felt different. i touched my tummy and i swear to god i felt it start going down. which freaked me out so bad that i was so scared something really bad was happening. am i dying? then i noticed my lips deflating. like...they were getting thinner. WTF?? whats going on??? then it stopped. thank god. i was so scared. then the rest of the night whenever i would toss and turn i felt drugged. i have to tell you the drugged part was pretty fun. lol. but how weird is that? just from one day of all liquids? i mean i got more liquid and more protein in yesterday than i do when i eat solids! so its not that i was depriving my body. so what was it? the lack of carbs? i dunno. but it kind of made me wanna do it again. lol.

its funny because last night i was like ok i did one day. thats it. but now i'm thinking, maybe i can do day 2 of this pouch test. of course who knows how i'll feel later so i make no promises. i made it through one day and that was pretty great. if i make it through half of today on just liquids i'll be happy.  we'll see how it goes! i'll let you know.

BAHAHAHAHAHAH REALLY?!?!

This just seems like a bad idea. Luckily oreos are not my vice. 

But I could see some people going crazy with these.

Has anyone done the 5 day pouch test

I kind of feel like doing it to jump start the weight loss again before my 6 month window closes. but i don't know if i can do it. liquid diet for 2 days? i dunno. hmm...

i guess i'll have to plan it really really well and give it a try. but i don't think i could even get through one day! lol. but if i did get through one day that would probably be pretty good. we'll see.

Stalling

I have to say, this is my very first stall. Almost at 5 months and this is my first stall. I've never stalled before so this is upsetting. Also I'm almost at 6 months and I keep hearing thats when the honeymoon period is over and you wanna lose as much as you can in the first 6 months.

This is upsetting because for the past 2 weeks I've been making it a point to work out almost every day, my eating has gone back to what i ate b4 christmas, if not better. i mean the last 2 days i could hardly eat half of my dinner. i'm not having my period (i had it last week), so why am i stalling??? :( :( i'm not used to this at all. i don't like it!! waaaaaaaaa :(

i don't get it. right before christmas i was losing very steadily every week. now this is like the 2nd or 3rd week. its so upsetting!

Sugar Free Nutella Substitute

Just had to share this with you guys. I posted it on my tumblr page but I'm reposting here for you to see.

I just heard about this today. Could it be?

Now mind you I think Nutella is the devil. I mean, you can’t refrigerate or microwave it, it sticks to EVERYTHING. Just imagine what its doing inside your body. Ugh. And I hate how its marketed as a health food when its full of fat and sugar.

So although I’m not a fan, I did buy it once for my husband. To make him nutella pancakes and crepes and whatever. He loves it. But trust me I won’t be buying it again. Still its pretty great that someone has come up with a sugar free alternative.

Here are the stats: 

Contains: Maltitol, Vegetable Oil (non-hygrogenated), Hazelnuts (in chocolate hazelnut), Low fat cocoa Powder, milk proteins, Soy flour, Soy lecithin, Vanilla

Spread it on Strawberries, Low carb toast, bread, crackers, pancakes or waffles!

Real Dutch Chocolate imported from Holland now with non-hydrogenated oils.

Read the review from Lora Ruffner of Low Carb Luxury:” It’s creamy, sweet and rich. And it lends itself to a great deal of use. We found we loved it swirled with peanut butter on a slice of low-carb bread, but it also mixes well into a chocolate frosting, or for making Oreo-style cookie filling (we used it with LC sugar cookies - YUM!)”

Net Carbs per Serving: 2g

Nutrition Facts Serving Size: 2 tbsp (38 g) Servings Per Container: 10

Total Calories 190 calories From Fat 130 Total Fat 15 g 23% Saturated Fat 2.5 g 13% Cholesterol 0 g Sodium 35 mg 1% Total Carbohydrates 19 g 6% Dietary Fiber 1 g 4% Sugars 0 g protein 4 g

Do NOT refrigerate

Ingredients: Maltitol, Vegetable Oil (non-hydrogenated), Hazelnuts, Low Fat Cocoa Powder, Milk preteins, Soy Flour, Soy Lecithin, Vanilla.

So yes, for all of you out there who can’t handle sugar alcohols like Malitol, don’t eat this. However, if thats not an issue for you I say you switch the real stuff with this. Still not the healthiest thing to eat but its the lesser of two evils.

They sell it on Netrition but for some reason its not available right now. But I did find it on this other site. Just thought I’d share.

Never thought I'd say this but...

I would rather make food for myself than go out to eat.

I was always the type of person who would rather eat out for any meal. Anything from fast food (mcdonalds never got old, i could eat it for every meal) to a restaurant. i would get sooo excited to eat out and make any excuse to pick up food on the way home. when my husband would say, lets just eat whatever we have in the house, i would pout until i got my way.

but now thats changed. because eating out just isn't fun anymore. food isn't that enjoyable because i can eat so little, it might go down rough, it takes me so long to eat. its just not fun. i'm so much happier to stay home and either make a meal or more often than not just eat a slice of gouda and some peanuts. for example my breakfast...i LOVE my breakfast. 1/4 cup of egg whites, on a slice of toasted wheat bread (buttered on one side) and a slice of colby jack cheese on top. i cook the egg whites then add the cheese, then put the cooked egg on the slice of bread (buttered side down) and put it in the pan till the bottom of the bread gets a golden brown. then i eat it with a knife and fork. and let me tell you i am in heaven. so yummy and goes down lovely. and fills me up!

its pretty amazing to have completely changed. its awesome though. i like cooking for myself. i prefer to eat at home. i have more control. it also saves money!

good week

i wanna start by thanking all of you for comments on my last post. :) that was awesome.

this week, starting tuesday, i started going back to the gym. kinda had to force myself to go. but thats what you have to do when you're trying to start a routine. eventually it becomes like clock work. on saturday morning i woke up like "bing!" ready to go work out. its amazing how that works.

then saturday night i went to my friends house. they ordered pizza. and yes i had a slice. not really. more lik half a slice.  i also had about 1/2 a cup of "coquito" which is a puerto rican spiked egg nog. its friggin delicious. now, mind you i have not had any alcohol since surgery so i was very cautious. but the drink was not strong at all. i couldn't even taste the alcohol (and i can taste the alcohol in anything). so i slowly slipped until i started to feel flushed. then i stopped. but oh man it was delicious. however with ingredients like condensed milk, coconut creme, white rum, i knew i was drinking liquid calories. i've been trying really hard this week to lose weight because i had a stall last week. my first stall. and i didn't like it. lol. but you know, i've been good all week,  i just partook in moderation. so i don't feel bad about it.

but despite last night, its been a great week and i'm proud of myself. the scale did move for me this past friday. whew. but i'm addicted. i want to see those numbers drop. i love seeing them drop. so i'm kicking ass. also i'm starting to get my muscles back which makes me so happy :) getting back into the groove!

shocking b4 and afters

me in 2009

me on NYE 2010

my workout secret

every morning i wake up and drink a protein shake. not my fav part of the day but it must be done. many times when i'm done with the shake i feel sleepy. i don't know if its because of the protein (it sometimes has that effect on me) or if i drank it too fast or whatever. but what i've found is that if i get my gym clothes on as soon as i roll out of bed, before i drink my protein shake, the chances of me going to the gym are greatly improved. now i'm not saying that there aren't those days that i really really just wanna crawl back into bed and having my gym clothes on won't make a diff. but for the most part it really works. once i'm in those shorts, bra and sneakers i'm ready to go out and do something.

just my little secret. thought maybe it would help some of you.

Just Dance2 VS Wii Fit

I just started using my wii fit and i have to tell you....Just Dance is not only way funner, its way more of a workout. If you're on the fence as to wether to get Just Dance 2, I say get it. If you love to dance, you'll love it. It doesn't feel like you're working out. it also doesn't judge you like the wii fit. lol. but you get quite the workout. man i am sweatin!

people's reactions

People have been complimenting me a lot lately because they're so impressed with my weight loss. They know how hard it is to lose weight and they all struggle with it in some form or another. And they give me all this credit until i tell them i had surgery. And they don't say it but I can see it in their reaction that they're like "oh". As if i don't deserve the credit. Like I'm cheating. I mean I can understand them thinking that if i was eating mcdonalds and chocolate cake and candy all the time and still losing weight. but thats not how this works. i've changed my way of eating entirely. i don't even buy processed food anymore (except for canned beans and stuff), i make everything fresh from scratch. i work out. i eat low carb, high protein. i've been working on finding happiness in things other than food, and realizing what my triggers are and stopping myself from emotional eating.

so yeah i've still been putting in the work. i still deserve the credit. let me tell you, the surgery and the recovery was not the easy way out. there are things i can never eat again because they just don't go down right, and i can't gulp down water. i don't drink alcohol or soda. all the things people do to lose weight without surgery, only its easier because of my tiny tummy.

whatever its exhausting trying to explain myself. just let people think whatever they want.