I got an article written about me!!!

Food Entrepreneur

Girl Seeks Kitchen For a Hot, Sweet Relationship

By Laine Doss, Thu., Apr. 28 2011 @ 9:33AM

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Categories: Food Entrepreneur

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Melissa Toro has a cupcake and a dream.

​Melissa Toro just wants a freaking place to bake her cupcakes and brownies.

The Miami native and owner of Meli Bakes has been looking for a commercial kitchen or bakery for almost a month without much luck.

"I've been trying to start my own baking business, and I was looking into what it would take, and I found out I would need to bake in a commercial kitchen in order to get my license," Toro says. "I've been looking and it's impossible. There's nothing on the internet. I've contacted schools, churches, and caterers. It's been really difficult."

Toro grew up in Miami and went to school in Boston. In the past year she's been trying to get a job without much luck. "Basically I'm a housewife, not by choice," she said. "I started getting into baking for friends. Now I'm obsessed with it. I dream about baking at night. I'm a hoarder of kitchen gadgets."

Not wanting a little thing like lack of an oven to stand in the way of her sweet dream, Toro decided to take matters into her own hands.

She's started the Commercial Kitchen Miami Facebook page, seeking out both independent chefs who are looking for kitchen space and business owners with kitchens they want to lease.

"I thought we could pool together our resources, so I'm trying to build a community. There are other people who are in the same boat, and I just want to get the word out so we can work together."

Toro's certain there's a lonely kitchen somewhere in Miami, just waiting to meet her. Until then, this passionate baker will continue to bake and to dream.

Follow Short Order on Facebook and Twitter @Short_Order.

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Commercial Kitchen Miami, Melissa Toro

link to actual article here

i threw up today

today for the first time since surgery, i threw up. i've come close a few times...eating too fast, getting stuck, dump like episodes. but i never threw up.

today...i took my vitamins on an empty stomach. i could have sworn i've done this before. with no bad side effects. i suspect it was my new iron. 65mg from 18mg of the chewable ones. i think 65 was too much. i got the worst attack of nausea and cramping. i rushed to eat something but  i felt a projectile vomit coming. weirdly enough i threw up only the iron. ugh i hate the smell of it. disgusting. i hate throwing up. i'm the type of person that never throws up. i hate it. its an awful feeling. the whole rest of the day my stomach has been messed up. i'm afraid to take this iron tomorrow. i feel like shit man.

Am i the only one?

Easter has never been a big deal for me. As a kid we would dye eggs and eat candy and that was fun. Then we'd go to church which was kiddie torture. so boring.  since about 16 i have never really done anything on Easter. Its just another sunday for me.

But boy i seem  to really be in the minority here. I feel like i can't even express that for fear of offending friends and loved ones. Some people are even quoting the bible on FB and it just makes me a little uncomfortable. don't get me wrong, i believe in God. I know right from wrong. But i'm just not into organized religion. i've seen too many over the top religious nuts using religion for hatred that i got really turned off to it in  my teens. i don't feel comfortable being preached to or being in a situation where people are getting very religious around me. makes me very uneasy. but i don't ever force my beliefs on others. if you have religious beliefs and you use it in positive ways i say good for you. you do what you do. i'm not an atheist or anything. i don't go around telling people there's no god and that they're foolish. i think thats  disrespectful. and besides, like i said, i believe in God myself.

anyway i just felt the need to express these feelings on my blog since if i did it anywhere else i might offend friends and family.

when i have kids i'll celebrate easter. but just the egg decorating, candy eating, fun part. i won't make my kids go to church because its not even something i believe in and my husband and i both talk about how bored we were in church and how it never did anything for us. if our children are curious and want to go to church, we'll take them. but i think we'll make our own easter traditions.

Gained weight

This is the first time in my 8 months since surgery that the scale has gone up. I gained 1.5lbs. Which is weird because i lost 1/2 an inch on my waist.

But I totally deserve it. The carb/sugar monster got me. I let it in with the first cupcake and boy its hard to shake it. i've been trying this week. I got down to sugar free candies instead. but i haven't shaken it completely. I was supposed to work out all week but i only ended up working out on monday. with my new, no cooking except for thursdays/fridays rule and "don't bake it unless its for someone to purchase" rule were put in place to get me back on track. but laziness. she's a tough mistress. i'm copping up to it though. i deserve it. i'm not even gonna dwell on it because i kind of saw it coming. i was half convinced it would still go down just because its gone down since surgery and never up. but i got a rude awakening today.

not getting bumbed because A. i did lose 1/2 an inch, but mostly because B. I have an order to fill today! My very first order! My cousin ordered cupcakes and brownie pops for her sister in law. its an hour away so i charged a heft $20 delivery fee. and rightly so. so its a $67 order all together. i'm so excited because this is my very first order! i have my cake boxes all ready to go. i have my stickers on everything. its looking so cute. i swear you take my love of making things with my love of wrapping things and this is my dream job. lol. i'm so excited!!

i made a test batch of banana/nutella cupcakes with a caramel cream cheese frosting. but i haven't tasted them. i made 8. i'm going to throw 6 in with the order just as a freebie and leave the other 2 for my hubby to taste. he ate one last night and approved. after i pack up everything there will only be one cupcake left in this house and nothing else! yay! i love having my house cleared of sweets. my joy is to make them and then to have people take them away. lol.

my husband is off today. so maybe we'll take advantage by going poolside or hitting the gym. i def have the motivation. lol.

you know whats weird though? i woke up one day this week and i felt really skinny. i measured myself  (because i only weigh on fridays) and i saw the inches lost. i was like wow...what caused this?? the only thing i did different was not to drink a protein shake the day before but eat cereal and milk instead. it was weird but i was optimistic about weigh in. then i woke up this morning and i did not feel thin, i knew it wouldn't be good. lol.

oh well. back to fighting the good fight. gotta kick that carb monster's ass! lord give me strumf.

thanks ladies :)

Just wanted to say thanks for all your awesome comments and all your support. means the world to me!!

woohoo!!

woke up this morning floating on air! weighed in and i lost 2.5lbs. its probably water weight from the pouch test but I'LL TAKE IT-thank you, come again.

it took me forever to lose these last 5lbs. madness. the next 35 will be a sloooow mission indeed but thats ok. this officially puts me at 85lbs lost and i have 35lbs more to go!

happy dance, happy dance

loving the way i look

Thats me in the middle with my cousin Juan on the left and my cousin erika on the right. I love my cousins. one lives in NY and the other in ATL and we very seldomely get to get together. usually only at christmas. so it was such a treat to go out to dinner with them. my cousin michelle was also there. she's awesome. she lives in miami. but i forgot to take pics before she left.

can you believe i'm older than both of these kiddies?

ps. i have to confess. i was seated across from a wall with a big mirror on it and i found myself glancing at myself the entire night.  i just kept thinking...damn i am so pretty. LOL!!! its surreal though isn't it? to love what you see in the mirror? when i went to the company picnic a few weeks ago i kept visiting the bathroom to check myself in the mirror (self conscious around my husband's co-workers who i was meeting for the first time) and each time i had nothing to fix. my hair was always cute and my face was always cute! i love this!

i tried on what i'm gonna wear for this big family party saturday (the reason my cousins were in town) and i was like...LOVING how cute i look! i'm so enjoying my femininity these days. :)

ps. i hate to even validate them but all those ppl who said i have a pretty face, if i would just lose weight i would be so pretty....turns out they were right. loving my face :)

post workout glow

today i got in a much needed workout. and i really pushed myself. i had this pounding headache and the more i pushed the more it hurt. but i pushed through and burned 400 calories on the elliptical and did weights. i wanted to do more weights but i had to keep stopping after every set because my head was pounding. i just took 2 much needed tylenol. now i'm gonna go shower off this good sweat. nothing like a good workout.

i hate when people talk about how they love to workout when i'm not in that place mentally. so if you're not in that place just ignore this post. lol.

my friend who works out obsessively (a guy) once told me he doesn't enjoy working out, he enjoys the results. and its true. once you start seeing the changed you want to see more and more. i feel my legs so strong, i see my ass changing, my arms are my fav. now if i could just get rid of this excess skin so i could show off my muscles underneath!

woke up happy today

well...yesterday i ended up eating 8 m&ms and 7 small coconut cookies. Yup. not all at once  but, throughout the day. pretty bad. but thats ok. because today i had half a protein shake and in a little while i'm going to make breakfast (egg whites and 1 slice of toast) and then i'm gonna drink a vanilla chai tea to give me that caffeine boost, then i'm gonna hit the gym. and i'm gonna hit it hard.  i miss it. haven't gone since monday of last week. crazy busy with the baking last week and this week i wasn't consuming enough calories to work out. but now i'm back. i have a schedule that works for me and no more of this pouch test nonsense.

tomorrow i'll be busy delivering treats to the mall and baking for saturday. but starting sunday, its back to the gym. i'm happy about that. because i've missed it. and also my arms are starting to look good, and i want more MORE MORE!!!

it might take me longer than expected but i will get to goal. and i will, as god as my witness, wear short shorts again!!

I don't know about this pouch test

I'm starting to think this might be doing more damage than good. i remember the first time i attempted this, it backfired.

now i'm thinking the same thing. i'm at day 3. but i'm craving baked goods in a way i never did before. i have such an urge to just binge on sweets. and this was something i never did before. i never binged when i ate regularly. i was good. i would splurge a little here and there but never eat more than one of anything. so this makes me think that maybe the pouch test, at least for me, might be doing more harm than good.

because i feel deprived. and it makes me want those other things more. i know its a mental game. before when i didn't deny myself anything i didn't feel the need to do anything crazy because i knew i always had access. i could go without it. or just have a taste.

wow. i think i have to officially call this thing off. i'm gonna have to think of another way to get myself back on track than this. maybe just keep it simple. just eat lean proteins and cut out sugar/carbs for a few days. but not this. sorry.

i've had a bag of m&ms since after surgery. i got a craving back then, and i think i ate 4 or 6 m&ms. and i kept it there in case i ever felt the need. that bag is still there. and right now i feel a STRONG urge to finish it off. its an urge i can't fight. and i don't like this feeling.

i don't feel like a failure for calling off the pouch test for the 2nd time. i'm listening to my body. and i think i've proven to myself that this isn't working for me. i tried twice and twice my body said no. and i'm gonna listen to it.

bottom line, i'd rather eat more and work out in the gym than starve myself. because depriving myself is the worst feeling in the world. thats not why i got this surgery. to deprive myself.

hmmm....

i don't know how well this pouch test is working. i feel like as soon as i can eat food again i'm gonna want a burger and fries. LOL. thats not the right effect.

Pouch Test Day 2

One day of liquids down, one to go.

Yesterday went surprisingly well! I wasn't a bitch. lol.  I was ok. but by the end of the night i was sick of my protein. Thank god for my roasted corn soup. I love that stuff. Its so good and gave me the savoryness I needed. I drank 3 bowls yesterday.

When it comes to tracking I usually only track my protein and my liquids since those were the things I was told to concentrate on after surgery. Well I decided yesterday I would track calories as well. I consumed 1045. I freaked out! When I was on my liquid diet before surgery I was only consuming like 700 calories a day. And that was before my small stomach. So of course I was upset. Then I looked it up. Turns out even if i wanted to lose weight without exercise (according to my height/weight and my goal weight) I should be consuming about 1800. So in that case. whew! but you gotta think, if this is what i'm consuming on a liquid diet, how bad is it when i eat normally? I mean the last thing i want is to count calories. I never wanted to do that. And I still lose weight, all be it little by little. Still its something to be a little more conscious of.

1 thing i am certain of is that my pouch has stretched. now i don't know if its normal stretching over time. i'm almost 8 months out and not only can i eat/drink more than before i can also tolerate foods i couldn't tolerate before. so is it normal wear and tear? maybe. but still, i'd like to try to keep things in check. they told me naturally it would get bigger. and instead of drinking 4oz of soup i'd be able to drink 8oz. don't get me wrong, i still get full off small amounts of food. thank god. as long as i keep myself in check and don't gradually move to bigger and bigger portions i should never be able to eat as much as before. but we must be vigilant.

thats what these pouch tests are for after all. i haven't been able to complete one before though. last time i didn't last. but this time i will. so it'll be interesting to see how i feel afterwards. i'm really hoping to lose a couple lbs this week! i need this detox from carbs and sugar. hopefully when its all over the cupcakes won't phase me as much.

on with day 2...

This might work

So after the initial chaos of trying to get things started, things have settled down a bit.

It got a little crazy when the girl from the kiosk was encouraging me to start my own kiosk. its NOT as easy as it sounds. i would have to get licensed ($) and in order to do that i'd have to rent commercial kitchen space ($$$), i'd have to rent the kiosk ($1,000/month), and pay the insurance ($$), and of course i would need a small refrigeration unit because the mall is outdoors ($700), and this isn't even counting the ingredients.

now....the kiosks are required to be open from 10am-9pm M-Sat and 10am-6pm sunday. now think about this. i would have to spend my life there. 7 days a week. when would i have time to bake? let alone take care of myself or see my husband??

it was all so stressful and overwhelming to think about. i'm just not there yet. i can't jump into something like that. i'm just not comfortable.

So once the dust settled, this is what I decided. I will sell my baked goods at the girl's kiosk on fridays and saturdays. sunday i'm gonna sleep in late because i stay up till 5am on saturdays. this way i have the entire week to myself. i can take care of myself, eat right, workout (i'm sore from yesterday's workout), take my vitamins, drink my waters. and then on thursdays i can bake and deliver the goods on friday and saturday morning. sooooo much more manageable that way. whew! this way i'm not constantly baking and there isn't always temptation. because i found out that i'm week. and i'd rather just not have it in the house. i'll bake it the night before, and deliver it the next morning. period.

but also i've updated my website (www.melibakes.com) with pics and prices and this way i can start taking orders. :) which is great because i'll only bake when someone wants something and i know they're gonna eat it all because i'll be delivering the entire batch to them. so it doesn't sit around in my fridge tempting me. i like the ordering thing better than the kiosk thing because i have yet to sell out completely at the kiosk. there's always 1 or 2 things left that didn't sell. with ordering you know its all selling. which is cool.

so thats that. i'm happy and relived and comfortable with this set up. :)

and on another note, i got a new bottle of protein powder i the mail and its only monday so i can start my pouch test!! its early enough to attempt this because i don't need to bake until thursday so that gives me some time to do the hardest part pouch test without problems. because i have to taste when i'm baking, i have to check that the batter tastes right with the flavorings i'm adding.

i needed to do this with all the sweets i've been tasting this week. and the lack of workouts. last time i tried the pouch test i lasted 1 or 2 miserable days. then caved completely. but that was before my wonderful filling and delicious banana protein. so i have high hopes for this time around :)

i'll let you know how it goes!

I have to come clean

I don't know if you guys know this but since surgery I got way into cooking. I love getting creative and finding healthy recipes and experimenting with flavors. This led me to cooking for ppl more and even offering my services as a personal chef. It didn't take off. People were interested in the pictures I took of food, but no one was trying to hire me. Which in the end is good because its stressful and not really what i wanted to do. I started to focus on baked goods. I made some pretty good low carb/lower sugar desserts. But again no one was interested. oh sure they wanted to tasted and raved about the pictures i posted but again no one wanted to buy.

Recently I was at the mall across the street from my apt and I was getting headbands at this really cute kiosk/cart that sells hair accessories. and i was talking to the girl who runs it about how she got started and how i'm trying to do something like this but don't know where to start. she said a cupcake stand would really clean up there since there isn't one. she graciously offered me a spot on her cart to sell my cupcakes. she asked for no cut of my profits in return. WOW! what an amazing opportunity! so i started to focus all my efforts on this. the cool part is i never told her i make low carb baked goods so i didn't have to make them low carb. these are for kids so i decided to just go with real sugar and make all the way cupcakes. i created a site (www.melibakes.com) and got some business cards done. then made some rainbow cupcakes and brought them over. of the 8 i brought over, 6 sold. not bad. people seemed excited about it. the only problem is its an outdoor mall. and i'm having problems with the frosting getting melted and wet. ever left  cupcakes out in the heat for hours? not good. this causes limitations on what i can bring out there. i made these great chocolate covered marshmallows (http://melibakes.tumblr.com/) and i wanted to make brownie pops but the chocolate will melt. :(

the big worry i have is that unfortunately my biggest flaw is that when i do something i enjoy i get REALLY focused. everything becomes about that. so now i've put all my attention on the baking thing. that means all the other things i was doing (gym, drinking waters, eating, taking vitamins) are falling by the waste side. and thats not good. not to mention i've been tasting the things i made. its way too easy. and its right there and so colorful.  ughhhh....i'm not happy with this.

on the one hand i'm very excited because i've been unable to find a job in the 4 years i've lived here. i've tried my ass off and can't get hired anywhere! so maybe its because i was meant for something better. and for the first time things are coming together. people are talking about placing orders for parties and i'm looking into getting a commercial kitchen and the licensees and insurance i need to take this to the next level. it all seems to be happening pretty quickly and its amazing! finally. FINALLY. but i'm honest to god worried. the last thing i want to do is fall into bad habits or lose the good habits i've had in place for 7 months. i'm scared. i'm scared of myself, my impulses. i thought i was stronger but it looks like i'm not. whats wrong with me? whats happening? i can't let it get to that point. i can't.

but how do i balance everything? how do i do it? i don't want to give up on my dream but i sure as hell am not gonna give up on my health. never again. i've worked too hard and i've come too far.

sigh...i'm so confused. i honestly don't know what to do.

Company BBQ

It was a great success! All the wives there just happened to be all skinny. All of them. What are the odds. Thank God I didn't meet them till now. If i had been there at 260lbs i would have been miserable! But no, i felt really cute. Everytime i went to the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror i was like "i look good". but the best thing was they were all sooooooo nice and so friendly and cool. i really really loved the whole bunch. after one day i feel like we're all like family. i can't wait to see them all again. :) and they loved the treats. especially the guys :)

after the bbq we went to the local fair with my husband's family who came into town for the weekend. we took this awesome pic. by the way...don't you love my headband? its an orchid! i bought it on friday :)

i didn't take pics at the bbq but one of ed's co-workers did. so if i see them i'll post a few.