Next time that bitch is gonna get an earful

Today I was in the grocery store minding my own business doing some shopping when I hear "hi"...."hi"...."hi". I ignore it. As a fat person you learn to ignore things around you because most of the time people make fun of you. So you learn to tune it all out. Besides if someone knew me they would know my name. Then she came right up next to me and said "hi". I looked at her, I have no idea who she is. She says "let me give you something that might help you". Then it dawned on me. I had seen this woman before and she tried this same shit on me last time.

*flashback* I was in the checkout lane when this lady behind me  gave me this cheap looking business card that only had a phone number on it and told me in spanish to call that number and get this product. I couldn't grasp everything she was saying because my spanish sucks. But basically she was trying to pedal some miracle weight loss elixir. "Just take 2 drops a day! I lost 60lbs in a month! Its $300+ for a month supply" Of course I wasn't buying it, but she put me in an awkward situation so I was just like "ok thanks". But I was insulted. This is not the first time i've been targeted as I randomly shopped in a store (happened once at SEARS too) for being fat and having someone offer to solve my problem. I find it so incredibly rude and insulting.

*flashforward to the present*

So this woman not only came up to me, she tracked me down quite annoyingly.  she's like "hi. hi. hi. hi. hi, here i have something that might help" and she starts to go into her purse and i say NO THANK YOU and i walk away. But it really pissed me off. I swear if anyone ever comes up to me and pulls that shit again I will say "You know what, fuck you. And don't ever come up to me again." So fucking rude.

Tonight's Dinner: Cauliflower Fried Rice and Scallops

To check out the rest of the pics, check out my tumblr page here

food? meh

food is starting to loose its appeal. no matter what delicious food there is, it doesn't matter because i can only eat a tiny amount. takes all the fun out of eating. when you eat that little it like...why even make a whole meal? i kind of wish i could just cook small portions but my man eats enough for the both of us.

sunday night was interesting though. i was at my parents house and my dad was gonna order chinese. i was like..i can't really eat chinese. all that sauce is so fattening and i can't have the rice. so i said get shorty's. so he did. i don't know why but he got a huge family meal with ribs, chicken and brisket! not to mention baked potato, corn, baked beans, coleslaw and bread.  oof. i served myself a spoonful of baked beans, a spoonful of baked potato with some margarine and 1 rib. yeah...1 rib. i peeled the meat off and put it in a small pile. it killed me that i had to give my husband all the hard dry parts. those are my fav part!! but my tummy is still new and i'm on softish foods so i didn't want to try it. it was nice to have that variety of having side dishes, even if it was such a tiny amount. i couldn't finish the beans or the potato. the beans were so good though. its nice to get full on such a tiny amount. but it does make food less interesting.

food porn just isn't the same.

i haven't tried bread or rice. i've had a little potato. i'm just afraid to eat bread or rice right now because i feel like i'll feel super stuffed. i get so full so easily that i don't wanna waste it. maybe when i get further out.

One Month pics

Deflated much? I hate how the boobs are the first to go. lol. not bad for 1 month. 

My first real dinner: Chicken Fricassee

This is what my husband had:

Here's what I had

It was juicy and a bit spicy. So delicious! I couldn't really eat the beans though. Though they were pretty mushy they were just too much. Too heavy. I don't do well with dense mushy stuff. Its like someone stuffing mud down my throat.  But the chicken was soooo juicy it was falling apart. The chicken went down sooo easy. So yummy.

Got my new Torani Syrups today

I bought the 6 pack and thanks to shelly over at Eggface I was able to get $5 off. 6 bottles for less than 30! and free shipping! What a deal!!!

A bit later than expected (they didn't ship for about 4 days after my order) because i'm off protein shakes. But I want a collection of flavors for when I make protein ice cream and protein cakes (all from shelly's blog).

Check out my stash :)

Music Video

And on a totally unrelated note, I wanted to share this with you guys. Last year I went to school for digital post production and one of our assignments was to make a music video. I took my nephew nathaniel (who had already recorded his own song with a friend) and i made a video for him. i think it came out awesome :) I wanted to share

Food Glorious food! 2 days left.

I went grocery shopping. Like real grocery shopping. First time in over a month I’ve shopped for actual food…that I’M going to eat. It was a religious experience. I was like a kid in a candy store.

Here’s the stash: Tomato paste, tomato sauce, chicken broth, canola oil, mario batali pasta sauce, blackened fish rub, smoked paprika, emeril’s essence seasoning, curry powder, rice vinegar and sesame oil (for those asian dishes), chobani greek yogurt*, cauliflower, pine nuts (never had them before), anise (never had that either), taco seasoning, fresh dill, fresh thyme.

Produce: Fresh cilantro, fresh flat leaf parsley, green onions, lemons, garlic, fresh ginger, tomatoes, limes, avocado, onions, zuchini. And for cheeses we have parmesan and feta.

(You’ll notice my Torani sugar free syrups in the back.)

Yes I have everything I need to make delicious meals from scratch. The meat I bought is in the fridge/freezer. But it was chicken thighs, ground turkey, ground pork sausage, and these really beautiful jumbo shrimp that are already deveined and butterflied and ready for the grill! I plan to get some more seafood (whitefish, scallops, etc) at Whole Foods on Friday. Did I tell you my surgeon's office is in the same building as a Whole Foods? 

* I like the Chobani greek yogurt more than the Fage because its tastes better AND it has more protein.

You guys i have been doing nothing but looking up recipes. Total food porn and I have sooo many plans. The catch? I can’t eat or cook any of it till Friday. :I

Oh and also, I bought some new gadgets. I haven't bought gadgets in a long time but now I'm like, hey I deserve it. And I'm gonna buy them. They're expensive and add up but I don't care. Here's what I got so far.

Here's a cute chopping knife. Its small and perfect for chopping vegies.

Here's a  garlic press (i always wanted one), the coolest part is if you swing it backwards the red part goes into all the holes to clean the garlic out of the holes.

And this is the most ingenious thing.....Its an herb cutter!!! How many times have you tried to chop up fresh herbs but get frustrated because they're so soft they don't chop well. Well thats where this puppy comes in. You just roll it over the herbs and the sharp wheels slice the herbs! Sounds easy enough. Can't wait to try it!

And Saturday I'm going to Bed Bath and Beyond or Target and I'm gonna get more things! 

Including:

-Jar/Bottle for home made salad dressing (oil and vinegar)

-Citrus squeezer

-Lemon zester

-small dishes for desserts (will use these for plates or for serving sauces or desserts for guests)

-pumps to put in my torani syrups

-new peeler (i want to make zucchini spaghetti)

-one of those things you put over dishes in the microwave to prevent splatter

-and here's the biggie...a small enamel dutch oven (been wanting one forever) 

What my husband said

My husband said something to me the other night that made me feel better.

I'm still on liquids. blah. friday night we went to my parents house for dinner. i had soup. my husband had shorty's ribs with a baked potato and a slice of crusty garlic bread. yeah. horrible. i smelled it and looked at it and lusted over it. it sucked. it doesn't bother me that he ate that in front of me. it bothers me that i couldn't even taste it.

so i was like...well if i could eat...i couldn't really eat the ribs. and my husband said, why not? and i said well ribs are fattening and the bbq sauce has a lot of sugar. and he said "so what? so maybe some days you eat things that have a little more fat and a little more carbs" lol. such a simple thought but god did it make me feel good! i have to not sabotage myself by saying i can't have things. and besides even if i do indulge, i can't eat much of it. so its still ok. i have to keep telling this to myself over and over. i have to stop telling myself i can't eat this or can't eat that. i can pretty much eat whatever. everything in moderation. moderation is the key.

many of you guys slip and have bad days. so what? not the end of the world. you have a bad day, big deal. the next day you do better. and you're still losing and still doing great. and i bow down to you. :)

meanwhile 5 more days till i can eat and i have to be honest food is all i think about. i hate being like this. after surgery when i wasn't hungry and had no appetite i was so happy and felt so free to not think about food anymore. and now its all i think about again. grrr. i just can't take it anymore. can't i just have a nice lovely beautiful delicious meal? then i can move on and do other things. but now its like ugh....never satisfied.

i have been eating a lot of cheese. like 2-3 slices a day. how bad is that? i'm supposed to be on liquids till friday. but i swear it keeps me sane. and goes down easy. plus its a yummy source of protein.

sigh.....5 more days...actually not counting today (since its late) 4 more days. gotta hang in there. but it seems so arbitrary at this point. i just want to eat food already!

I met Chris Carrabba!

I just had to post this! Are any of you familiar with Dashboard Confessional? Well the lead singer Chris Carrabba is not only cute but his voice is delicious. Well long story short, back in the 90s he used to be in a couple of bands here in miami and today one of those bands The Agency had a reunion show. Chris came to join them on stage. It was no less than awesome. Especially to see someone so famous back home. He's a miami boy! :) *correction, he's not a miami boy, i think he's from boca. but whatever. he played in miami a lot back then.

anyway....it was awesome. i told him i had seen him play with on old band at this club in miami when i was 15 and he smiled. :)

Attention Ladies!!!

I want you to see what I made for YOU!!

This is for all of you awesome bloggers for all the support you've given me. Thanks for the answers to questions, supportive comments, an most of all for the great motivation you give me. This is for you!!

There are no rules. No questions to answer. Just pass it along to anyone you think deserves it. :)

In no particular oder:

grace 

tracy

beth 

maria 

Sugar Snap and me 

kim

ice queen 

jaquie

mckayla 

lap band gal

drazil 

steph 

joey 

Donna 

Sumer 

Lettuce beautiful lettuce

I have always loved loved loved lettuce. I love it on sandwiches, i love it in tacos, i love it as a wrap, in salads, you name it. When I was living at home i'd sometimes get a leaf of lettuce and pour some dressing on it, roll it up and eat it. I love iceburg. Romaine is great for salads.

But I'm really worried that this may become one of those foods I can't eat anymore. Simply because it will get stuck and cause major discomfort. I have no idea as I'm not to the point where I can even try it yet. I hear you have to be 3 months out or so? There are some things that don't phase me and I can live without no problem. But lettuce? I will for sure miss lettuce if I can't have it.

What about you guys? Can you all tolerate lettuce?

I got an award!!

 

I've been putting this off because I didn't feel like going through the whole rig-a-ma-roll but here we go...

I want to say thanks to Yani and Beth for this award. Thats so sweet that you thought of me :)



RULES:

Thank the person giving the award. check

Share seven things about yourself.

Nominate 7 newly discovered blogs.

Let your nominees know about the award.

1.) I could live off stale day old pizza and/or french fries. Though I seldom ever have these things.

2.) I don't like milk. I use it to wet my cereal or cook with or put in protein shakes. But I wouldn't drink milk by itself. Haven't liked it since I was a kid.

3.) I'm really funny off the cuff but when I try to be funny, it doesn't work.

4.) I tend to give TMI with no shame. Is it just me?

5.) I love baby blue, baby pink, baby purple. I love pastels.

6.) I love ska music.

7.) All I want is a job I enjoy with co-workers I get along with. I don't want to wake up each day hating my job.



Other bloggers I nominate for this award: *if you have already gotten this award just ignore this :) *


1. Steph
2. Angela 
3. Jaquie
4. tessierose
5.  Maria
6. Ice Queen
7. Grace

Newly discovered blogs (all food related)


1. http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/
2. http://gastricsleevefoodie.blogspot.com/
3. http://bariatricfoodie.blogspot.com/
4. http://www.vsggoodlife.com/


and one special non wls related blog


My lovely cousin Erika at http://www.erikaandronnie.blogspot.com/
now the people I nominate for the awards are:( I dont have 7 people 

How do you track?

Do you count your carbs? Proteins? Calories? Sugars? What do you concentrate on?

Do you ever have a slice of pizza? Ever have a snickers mini?

I have to know! I need to hear it. To make me feel better.

I hear so many ppl on the forums who never eat carbs ever. Never eat bread of any kind. I can't live like that. You girls are great. I love your attitudes and how you eat in moderation. You're not too militant. Those militant people freak me out and push me in the wrong direction. Not that i'm looking for the green light to eat junk because i'm not. I swear I'm not. I look forward to eating fresh flavorful foods and experimenting with substitutions. That being said I just want to know that once in a blue moon its ok to indulge. One slice of pizza. Just one. All I'm asking. lol. right now i feel like i'll never have regular pizza ever again.

First workout since surgery

Yesterday I pulled the last bandage off. Aside from some scabbing I'm practically healed on the outside. So I finally decided to get off my butt and go to the gym today.

I did 10 min on the treadmill then I hit the weights. Boy am I out of shape. I felt like such a weakling! :( I used to be pretty strong in the upper body but since surgery and all this liquid diet for over a month those muscles have been eaten away. So now I have to build them back up. It felt sooo surreal to struggle on the easiest setting for weights. I felt like I was 80 or something. I really want to make a point of going there regularly because I have to build up my strength again. Not only to tone up and look good but just to feel strong again. I hate feeling weak. I also did the machine for my thighs. I hope I feel the burn of everything tomorrow. Feeling the soreness after the gym makes me feel like I accomplished something. After doing what I could with the weights I went back to the treadmill. I was only gonna do 20 min so I would have a total of 30 min walking but it turned into 30 min. I have to admit, all this walking after surgery has given me pretty good stamina when it comes to walking. Which feels great. But I really have to bring my upper body up to par. After getting off the treadmill I went back yet again to do another small round of the weights. Just to make sure I got as much as I could out of it. Now to drink some protein to replenish my muscles. I've discovered that EAS vanilla isn't bad. So I'm sticking to that. It has an after taste of a waffle cone.

As I was wrapping up in the gym and getting ready to go I noticed it was pouring rain outside. I don't know if you know this about me but when I get worked up I don't sweat. I just get really red like a tomato and I overheat. The only way to refresh myself is outside cooling because my body can't regulate my temperature. So that means splash cool water on my face, shower, fans, cold a/c, even touching cold metal will help. That being said I looked at the rain and thought, how refreshing! So I walked back to my apt in the rain. It felt sooooooo good and refreshing. I was kind of bumbed when the big drops turned into sprinkles and the sun came out again.  But it was lovely. I really should walk in the rain more.

As far as how I held up with the workout. Its almost as if my lungs aren't used to it. So that was weird. I couldn't chug water like I normally do when I work out which was also totally weird. But I think I got along just fine. My body just needs to get used to breathing while working out.

All in all I think it was a success. 40 min of walking plus weights. And the gym was empty! score!

Have you tried Max Protein?

Shelly at The World According To Eggface swears by Max Protein. So I went to GNC and low and behold they had it there! I was so excited! But it was like $60 for a 2lb tub. Sheesh. Not only is that expensive but what if I don't like it? I have a tub of protein powder sitting around. I already have lots of other protein powders I don't like sitting around. But none are 2lb tubs. But if its that expensive maybe it is tasty. 

So this is where you guys come in. Have any of you ever tried it? If so, is it possible for you to send me a sample (perhaps in a baggie or a tiny gladware container)? I would pay for it of course. That would help me out tremendously. 

some nice moments in the midst of misery

so i don't know if you know this but i'm fucking miserable. if i had it my way i would sleep till sept 17th. but then i would miss out on a ton of fluid and protein. wish i could hook myself up to an iv and get protein and fluids pumped into my veins. along with a steady stream of pain killers to keep me sleeping.

this liquid diet sucks big fat donkey balls, which by the way is the way all liquid protein tastes to me. i haven't eaten food since august 1st and i can't eat again till sept 17th. i'm miserable. i have 2 modes. hungry and uncomfortably full. every time i drink protein i get the whole " i wanna barf" feeling. i feel like i'm constantly putting things down my throat so i can meet my quotas of liquids and protein, which i never meet. so yeah. the days suck and they're so long and slow. i'm miserable. i feel so deprived. its keeping me from enjoying my life. i feel like if i can have a little bit of something i enjoy (real food like meat or cheese or cooked veggies) then i can be happy and move on with my day in a better mood.

i couldn't start my life before because i was healing. now i'm almost all healed up and i still feel like i can't start my life because of the food thing. ugh. so frustrating.

but anyway, nice moments here and there. i don't even remember what the hell i was writing this about in the first place. oh yea....today for the first time in over a month i shaved my legs! i can wear shorts now. and i might go to the gym this week. gotta get out of this apt.

i can't wait till the one month mark (sept 17th). then i can eat. i can weigh myself. i will finally reveal myself to my friends and start going out and living life again. can't wait! my incision tape will be off by then, they're falling off now. so yes....i'm miserably getting by day by long ass day till then.

shirataki noodles

has anyone tried these? they look yummy enough.

tuna patties recipe

ok I can't eat food yet. but i saw this on the message boards and i wanted to save it. feel free to try it out and tell me what you think.


1 can tuna in water (I used albacore which gives you 4 oz tuna after being drained, regular chunk light would give a little more)
1 raw egg
3 tbsp grated parmesan cheese
dash onion powder
dash garlic salt
dash lemon pepper

Combine all ingredients, shape into patties. Pan fry until browned on both sides. I made 3 patties out of mine. Each patty has 85 calories, 4g fat and 13g protein! One patty was just right for my lunch. Yum!