Totally enjoying my weekend

So far we watched a movie last night. We watched one already today and we're watching one tonight. i'm talking dvds. we get them every weekend. i love watching dvds with ed. we've been napping a lot! love it! loving all this good sleep. i feel like if i get good sleep this weekend i won't feel like i wasted my weekend. since its so important for me to relax when i can.

tonight ed will do some paperwork while i dye my hair and quiz myself to prepare for monday's test. all this while we watch iron chef. i love it. :) we're together but doing our own things. getting some work done. then later tonight we'll have dinner and watch our last dvd.

tomorrow we're going to alina's house for tio's surprise bday party. honestly i really don't wanna go. sundays are sooo bad for us. ugh i just know it will ruin our schedule. we have to keep on a tight schedule on sundays. no one understands. anyway i have to go. i'm sure it will be fun, but i have to make sure we stay only for a couple of hours.

i love how i have my food schedule down. i'm soo happy and proud of myself. i don't fall victim to vending machines and fast food, which tends to happen when you're busy with school or work. i eat oatmeal before i leave (6:45am), i eat a mini cereal box when i get there (9:30am), i have a small bag of pretzels in class when i get hungry (10:30am), then i have a sandwich and baked chips at break (11:30am), then i'm pretty set for the rest of the day till i get home. i usually have tuna and celery waiting for me, i eat that with pita (3:30-4pm), then i have dinner around 8pm. so the beginning meals are smaller and closer together and the later meals are bigger and further apart. but it works for me. and thats the most important thing!!

Finished my first week of school :)

It was a great week! :) I actually look forward to going to school every day. I swear though, these guys don't play. They keep me on my toes. Makes it more exciting though. i gotta bring my A game every day.

I do however need some rest. The first week wasn't bad, i'll be honest. Schedule wise. Being tired from the adjustment of waking up at 6:45am is to be expected. I actually had to change my wake up time to 6:30 so i wouldn't be late for the bus. The only thing thats a bit rough is that i feel like i have no free time during the week. I mean i have some time to check my email when i get home but then i have to take a nap, yes i HAVE to (found that out the hard way) and on the days i have homework i could be working on it all day/night. so its been hard to keep in touch with people. so i am looking forward to having some time to relax and not be on such a tight schedule.

tomorrow i have to wake up early, though not as early, to take ed to work so i can have the car. i have to run some errands and go to school at 2pm. my teacher is shooting something and he thought it would be a good idea to have us come in and watch and get some practical shoot experience. it'll be a good way to observe and get a head start on the practical application of the stuff i'll learn later.

i have to say i'm really loving having fridays off. the classes aren't tiring. its the waking up early but mostly the bus thing. it tires me out.

this is a pic of the federal building downtown. i have to wait in front for my 2nd bus.

this is US1/Biscayne Blvd. this is the street i have to cross when i get off the bus in NMB. you can't tell but its 4 lanes in both directions.

waiting for the bus downtown

be glad this isn't smellovision...er...smelloblog.

First Day of School

From what I can remember...

The bus wasn't bad at all. Didn't have to wait for any of them. Had a seat. Got to class. Went great. On the way home though the mp3 player crashed so i had to go like 45 min without. not fun. downtown reaks of piss. came home and was surprisingly awake and in a good mood.

Ok school details. We get a macbook PRO 15''! cool huh? we took our student ID pics. there were only 2 other people in class. there are 4 of us in total but one is an international student so he starts next week. the teacher is super cool. he curses and makes jokes. its a very laid back atmosphere. i was amazed at all the stuff we'll be learning. like wow. i'm gonna be so freaking impressive when i get out of here. also i'll never be able to watch movies the same way again. so they tell me. because i'll be looking at it from a technical/filmmaker point of view.

i'm really being forced to break out of my comfort zone and reach out to people, talk to them, work with them on projects, ask them for help, help them, i'm really gonna have to work on my networking skills. which is a good thing. i need that.

there will be some extra costs for software that we don't NEED to buy but should. its the diff between having something on your own laptop and having to go to the lab. but thats another thing. i wanna do stuff on my laptop at home. but i need to get a certain amount of lab hours. which is another thing that forces me out of my comfort zone. another cool thing? we have a green screen room!! its awesome! the facilities are amazing. seriously. i'm just really glad i found this place and i can't wait to learn!

i'm a little intimidated. it all sounds really advanced but we'll see if my puny bran can do it. :)

the only thing that would make everything more fun and better would be driving to school. but oh well.

ANXIETY ATTACK!

omg omg omg omg. the rational part of my brain is saying don't worry. i know its not a big deal. i know what i have to do. i know the route. school is fine i don't have to perform, i can dress comfy, there's nothing to make me feel uncomfortable. i'll be fine. the problem is that rational part is being completely drowned out by the irrational crazy part that just screams "i'm scared! omg i'm scared! help me!" why? why?? because i know i have something big to do tomorrow. whenever there's something important i have to do, even something as small as getting off at a certain stop on the train to something big like a job interview, i get a serious anxiety attack. you should see me before i have to get on a plane.

ugh anyway. i can't help it. its totally taking over right now. i need to do something to release it.

I'm so excrited!!

At Last

This brought the waterworks BIG TIME.

We got a new President

I didn't post a blog entry because i felt like everything that needed to be said had already been said. but since this blog knows not what the general populous says only what i say, and since i will look back on this as a record of this day, i decided to write something down.

i woke up at 8am and spent 12 hours glued to the tv. it was very exciting. i remember seeing bits of Bush's inauguration but never watched it all the way through. this one was exciting and i think they broke records with how many people were there.. just a sea of people further than the eye could see. no one on the floor, not even the news cameras, got a real grasp for how many people were there. when they showed satellite images from space (like google earth) you saw so many people. the crowds just went on and on almost filling the whole city. it was quite spectacular. and everyone was harmonious and hopeful it must have been something to be in that crowd.

i watched the whole thing with erika. we were iming each other. i remember thinking the prayer before the swearing in was a bit much. while i totally respect people's right to pray and understand this is a very spiritual moment for people, i kind of felt it was too long and i was being forced to sit through church. i personally think religion shouldn't be so front and center with politics. it gives people in power free reign to do things that aren't rational. erika and i disagreed on this. i'm sure there were people watching who felt the same way as i did. but for the most part people were very into it.

during the luncheon the cameras were not allowed in. word came that senator bird had some kind of medical problem and senator teddy kennedy had a seizure. he was taken to the hospital. the media became vultures and began to exploit the hell out of this story. erika and i feared that they would ruin this joyous day by milking this unfortunate incident. lucky they backed off and continued to celebrate the day as they should.


i watched until they went into the observation booth or whatever you call it and that neverending parade went by. at 9pm i gave up and decided to go to bed. i came online and saw a picture of them in black tie attire dancing to beyonce singing AT LAST which is what i really wanted to see. i wonder how in the world they managed to change clothes and have yet another party. my god...they must have been up since 5am. they had to be downing some serious espresso. cuban coffee maybe? oh well i'm sure i'll find some footage online. don't you just love technology?

on a closing note i will say this...
the feeling that came over me when he was finally officially president was a peaceful one. in that one moment all the fear, anger and overall negativity of the past 8yrs was gone. i felt proud to be an american again, like i did on election night. i felt like...you know when you're miserable because you're suffering a heart break? but then one morning you wake up and you realize hey "i'm over it" ? its an amazing feeling. all the bad feelings are gone and you feel like you can finally breathe again. you can enjoy life again. i feel like now i have good times to look forward to. we've got a good man representing us. the world will love us again.

lets start fresh. you, me, and president obama.

you know what?

i worked out today and i think i burned off some of that nervous energy. because right now when i think of school i just get excited. i'm ready to start! lets do this! lets go i'm ready!

maybe i should work out every day before school. lol yeah right!!! i'd have to wake up at 5am!!

i'm nervous.

i start school in a week. i have no reason to be nervous really. its gonna be fun and exciting. and whats to worry about? its not like i have to dress up or impress anyone. i guess its just the change. having to wake up at 6:45am and take the bus. i'm sure once i do it a couple times i won't be so nervous. but for some reason right now i'm just nervous. i feel like this is my last week of freedom. no more sleeping in. but hey i can take naps after class and i have fridays off.

i just can't help it. i have anxiety. even for little things. so something big like this (my whole future is riding on this) is sure to stir up some serious anxiety. also the thought of having to do be somewhere at a certain time every day scares me a little. i have a hard time committing to things.

GREAT NEWS!!!

Patience people. Patience. Good things come to those who wait? yes. I decided to wait for this period to go away on its own and not get back on the pill. And low and behold, its gone!! all on its own!! this is so big. this means my body is regulating itself. i'm a normal girl. i love love love not being on the pill. :)

words of wisdom from rev run.

"when you judge someone, you're really judging yourself. sometimes when we try to help, we hurt. learn to respect and love your loved ones, faults and all. "

whats in a title?

my mom filled out some paperwork for me and in the occupation field she wrote "housewife". man that really knocked the wind out of me. and i guess its true but i don't see myself that way. a housewife is someone who doesn't have ambition to do anything else. if i wasn't gonna do anything else with my life i would be a housewife. and in the past i was happy with that title. but i consider myself unemployed...or better yet..a student. i have plans to get a job. a career path. there's nothing wrong with being a housewife. but thats just not me. i'm a wife. i take care of the house. but thats not my occupation. its a place holder for whats to come.




*fyi that last post was not about my mother.

god i can't stand her

i hate everything about her. she's vile. she's gross. she's nasty. she makes me roll my eyes so hard i wanna puke.

its been 2 weeks

thats 14 whole days of having a heavy period.

Teryaki Chicken, chicken dumplings

Update

still sick
still bleeding

drinking more water though

Weird chest cold

oh man i don't wanna be up right now. i'm so tired. but this fucking painful cough won't let me sleep. i just want to sleep. i guess there's phlem in my lungs thats like a solid mass. i need to loosen it up and cough it out. but nothing seems to be helping. and whatever muscles i use to cough are raw. its painful. this bloowwwwws!


by the way my mom took me to see a hypnotist today. i dunno. the process seemed like it could work but some of the stuff he was saying just sounded unrealistic. can't we just eat a healthy diet? not deprive ourselves of anything and just eat in moderation? if you start putting all these restrictions on it, like no bread, then you're gonna feel like you're on a diet. be realistic people. i swear if its not one thing its another.

Ok this is getting old

its been 6 days and i'm still on a heavy flow. i feel like, if given the time, my body could regulate itself. but i don't have that kind of time. maybe if i was staying home for the next 2 months. but i'm starting school. i have to take the bus. can't afford the discomfort, not to mention stains. no. i *might* give it till the end of the week but i've got the pack of birth control pills waiting for me. i would hate to get back on the pill after finally getting it out of my system but i'll do it if i have to.

The Last Hoorah

The holidays sucked this year. Christmas morning was great, and i'm happy with my gifts. but other than that...oof. and i'm trying to figure out why they sucked when last year was so great. maybe because last year i wasn't really expecting anything spectacular. i had spent the previous christmas (2006) in boston with ed so it was nice to see all the cousins. but this year i was building it up for an entire year. i had these expectations. i made it so big in my head that it couldn't possibly live up to it. also hanging out with everyone didn't seem as fun. i don't know why. i love them to death and i enjoy seeing them but for some reason its not as fun as before. i don't know if i've changed or maybe i'm just weird and awkward. but it seems to me like we each have our own individual sense of humor and they don't really click so well. does that make sense? also it seemed like there was less to talk about this year. hmm...

well anyway last night was the last cousin based get together for the holidays. the last of them went back to ny today. today is Avenue Q which i've been looking forward to. but between my mom bitching about how far ft laud is (everything is far if its outside of kendall), my sister being herself, my never ending period, and this fucking cold i'm getting...i'm afraid of whats to come today.

also i'm sad that ed's vacation is over. :( very very very sad. sigh. i wish neither of us had to work so we could spend every day together. i feel a bit jipped because he didn't get into vacation mode till about the 2nd week of vacation. oh well.

Period update

still have my period. going through tampons like crazy. pretty cool. lol. i know its weird. when i was on the pill my periods were very light and lasted one day maybe 2. this is 3 days of bleeding. pretty cool. why? because this is my body. being normal, on its own. thats a big deal for me. i feel womanly and normal. at least some part of my lady parts works.