TIME FOR A RANT

time to take to my trusty blog for a lengthy rant.

2 things i fucking hate

1. when people look at me and assume i eat like a pig. i don't! and fuck you!!

2. when people proceed to lecture me about my eating habits and exercise without even asking me what i've been doing with myself. because guess what I ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'RE TELLING ME!! i've been dieting and exercising for 6 months and i've lots 25lbs thank you very much! but do you care?? any praise for that? no of course not! because you just came out of the blue and saw me today and thought, she's fat, she needs my help. well FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!!!!!!! go fuck yourself!!

and to all those fucking self righteous shitheads who feel the need to "enlighten" me on something they think i don't already know or haven't already heard from 30 people before them GO FUCK YASELF!!


you can tell the people in my life who actually know and care about me because they're with me throughout the struggle. they're there to hear about my progress. they notice when i've lost weight. they don't lecture me because they know i'm trying. instead they're there for me. they listen to me. they cheer me on. these are the people i care about. the rest of them can suck my big fat dick.

late night/early morning blogging

when there's nothing else to do but think...

i'm tired of trying to force my husband to take an interest in me. i rub up on him, i literally pick up his hands and rub them on me. and the second i let go his hands fall. he is so not interested at all. i can't be mad at him because there are times when i'm like that. so why can't he be like that? because he's not. he's the guy. and he's always been the one to stand at attention whenever he's near me. but lately not so much.

but he's always distracted. either by the tv or the computer or being tired. he never even looks at me anymore. i'm not getting any attention from him. sad thing is i've been feeling very affectionate towards him lately. but its going to waste. maybe this explains the bad dreams.

also...

i'm not excited about xmas this year. i mean, i'm not anti xmas. its nice. i'm just not excited about it. i'm enjoying the month of december. enjoying vacation time. enjoying having a social calendar. just don't feel that feeling. i'm in a good mood thats for sure. just not feeling the excitement. feeling like i could take or leave the pomp and circumstance. i'm satisfied the way things are. but i feel like if i don't celebrate this holiday i'll regret it come the spring.