The Julio Lora Show

None of this was planned. we just needed something to do to practice our lighting. this is what we came up with. all on the spot. i turned the footage into this cheesy public access show.

Magazine Shout Out

I wish i had been able to write this post when I was at school today and still in a good mood. But i'll give you the jist of it without the excitement.

three cool things happened today in class.

a. my teacher finally said "i understand where you're coming from" which is what i've been wanting to hear for a while now. i just wanted him to understand my point of view. with that said i can stop complaining and accept other things more readily than before. sometimes you just want to hear that the other person knows where you're coming from and thats all you wanted to hear.

b. i was recognized for my preparation. the other guys just seem to breeze through class. i don't know whether it comes easier to them or if they just don't take it that seriously, but i know that i struggle. there's so much information, so much detail, lots of technical stuff and that does not come easy to me. so i try EXTRA hard to concentrate and be super prepared. sometimes it can be annoying because i want to have notes on everything and make sure information is clearly stated for test purposes or what have you. but today my teacher says he likes that about me because i keep the other guys on their toes. and i really appreciated hearing that. its nice to know that my hard work does not go unnoticed. i like my classmates. i don't want to do anything to make things harder for them. i don't try to show them up, or remind the teacher about hw or anything like that. i just do my best without talking about it. they're cool guys. they're supportive and don't hate on me for doing well. we all support each other which is one of the perks of having such a small intimate class.

c. but by far the coolest thing was when my teacher revealed our grades for our magazine covers. we've turned in 3 projects and so far he's only graded this one. he said he was pleased with all of us and he gave us all As. yay! he says later on he'll be tougher on his grading but for now we all did well. then he said "now i normally don't do this, but when it has to be said i will say something" *gulp* uh oh. then he goes on to say that i did an amazing job and led the class in a round of applause for me. he said i had the best magazine cover, i went above and beyond, i got 100% and the other guys are lucky that he didn't grade mine first! lol!! how awesome is that? seriously i almost teared up. it just felt so good to get praise like that for something i made. it felt amazing.

*random thought. i just felt like eating an empanada

i want to make videos again

my short reports have been seriously neglected. first it was the holidays and then school. i just don't have time.

there are so many things i want to create. the more i learn the more ideas i get. i want to make cartoons, short reports, i want to work on scripts, i want to make movie posters. there's no shortage of ideas. now i have the ideas, i have skills, but no time. well i guess the ideas are a good thing. my problem before was that i would get blocked. i'd have an idea for something then just get blocked. and be like...how can i keep coming up with more content? but right now i feel like i have a million things lined up that i want to do. my cup runneth over. and thats pretty cool. just wish i had the time to do some of them. between the classes, the projects, the reading/homework, and the studying for tests, i can barely find time to relax. i find myself using the little free time i have to work on "for fun" creative projects but i never get to finish them and i end up saying to myself on monday "i don't feel like i got any down time".

this is so intense. i can't wait till at least june....then maybe i could see the light at the end of the tunnel. because this schedule suuuucks.

Class Cancelled???!!!

this whole week has been so messed up. i've just been off my game. from what i've been eating to taking naps and leaving late in the morning. i'm getting too slack! last night was the worst. i was supposed to read the manual for this video camera we're using in school and then learn 9 things from it and be prepared to present 3 in class. i mean the fucking user's manual. how lazy of a teacher can you be? needless to say i was NOT happy. and it was given to us on a pdf no less. a pdf of a 124pg manual. i'm sorry but i can't read anything longer than a paragraph online. its uncomfortable and there are too many distractions. no i need the test right in front of me so i can flip through it and highlight it.

so i had ed print out this like 1lb monster for me. but when i got home i took....a NAP!! i woke up at 11 and so badly wanted to keep sleeping. but i freaked out. thankfully so. i got up, and i started reading this fucking manual. i highlighted 9 things. but its hard to know this shit if you don't have the camera in front of you to practice. when i finished that i made my lunch for today and then took a shower. i got everything done that i needed to get done last night. and went to bed at 2am. mind you i usually go to bed at 10pm but i had that nice long nap.

i woke up at 7:30 as usual (now that i drive to school its 7:30, before it was 6:30) and come into the living room to check my email and wake up. when all of a sudden i hear a buzz. a text this early? maybe it was jenny. i had sent her a text yesterday and i know she goes into work at 7am. no it was my teacher jon. he sent a text at 5am to tell us he had to cancel class and that we would decide later when to make it up. at first i reacted like any person would, with jubilation! the thought of getting to stay home and have a relaxing day off midweek came over me instantly. but then reality set it. let me give you the run down.


a. i can't relax. because i have to work on my movie poster. i didn't do lab hours on monday because i was tired and thought i had the rest of the week and wanted a break from staying at school late every day for 2 weeks. understandable right? i didn't stay tuesday because i was given this hw assignment to read a 124 pg manual and prepare 9 possible presentations. so i HAVE to go today. Even though i don't have class i will still be in school doing lab hours and working on my movie poster.

b. i was supposed to get photoshop put on my laptop today. i was going to get it back tomorrow. which would have been perfect because i would have had it this weekend which meant i could work on my movie poster from home all weekend, so it didn't matter that i haven't had any labtime this week.

c. i haven't missed one day of class, not even when i was sick. its an intense course and every day is accounted for. you can't miss any days. now i'm forced to miss this one which means we have to make it up. when?? on a friday of course. but not this friday. this friday we are meeting up for a film festival (field trip). the tix have already been purchased so it can't be cancelled. can't be next friday because we're coming into school from 12-3:30 for a 3 hour seminar on script writing. so that means we'll probably have to do it the friday after that. what does that mean for me? it means for 3 fridays in a row i can't stay home and enjoy my day off :( whats more one of these weeks i'll have a 5 day week of school which TOTALLY sucks assholes in butter. i'm already stressed and breaking out as it is. i NEED that day off for my sanity. but every time there's something on a friday i still have to wake up early because i have to take ed to work to get the car.

and there you have it my friends. the reasons that canceling class is not a good thing. i'll still have to be there today till at least 1pm working on my project.

feeling so animated!

i'm soo happy right now!! i just figured out how to make animations on photoshop and i'm like damn i wish i could work on it on my own. so i did i search online and i found this FREE open source animation software!! omg!!!

so i'm playing with it now! its awesome. it does the same thing that the photoshop animation stuff did. saweeet!!! i'm gonna make my own little cartoons! eep how fun!! it might take me weeks just to make something a minute long but still :)

getting emotional and overcoming it

the other day i was feeling very emotional (that time of the month) and i had a really bad day. i had broken down crying at school for something that shouldn't have made me cry. but i was just feeling like it was all getting to be too much. i was driving to pick up ed from work, and it was almost 7pm and i was coming from school feeling just overwhelmed and then Selena's "Dreaming of You" came on the radio and i just lost it.

"Late at night when all the world is sleeping i'll stay up and think of you...." its so peaceful and beautiful it just put me at peace. Like a warm blanket coming over me to comfort me. I really needed it. And then i started to cry. Because in my head i was singing it to my unborn child. Because despite everything, all the mean people out there, all the stress, all the bad drivers, all the harshness of the world, we can just curl up...me and my baby...and nothing else will matter. I'm doing all this for you, my baby. One day it will just be you and me and daddy and the rest of the world will cease to exist. We'll be in our own little world. And it will all have been worth it. And i will shield you from all the negativity.

so they can hurt me, and yeah i'll cry because i'm not that strong. but i'm not gonna give up. i'm not gonna run away.

in school...when they made me cry, i ran to the bathroom and sobbed. i wanted nothing more than to leave. just go home. i didn't want to see any of them. i just wanted to go home and be around people who love me. but i didn't have a choice. i had to stay. i had work to do. so i wiped away the tears. splashed some water on my face and went back out there. i didn't run away. and i'm proud of myself.

Another dream

This one was troubling. I had a dream where I had a baby but I didn't remember being pregnant. My boobs didn't even get bigger. It wanted to feed, so i gave it a breast and nothing came out. I wanted to give the baby a bath so i put it in a little tub looking thing but it was shaped wrong so when i walked away to get the soap the baby slipped into the water and started to go under. i ran to get it. my god...i was a terrible mom. everything felt so awkward and i had no maternal sense at all!! and i was doing it by myself. i kept trying to put the baby down to grab something but then something would happen to the baby. i didn't have enough hands. ed was there but for some reason he wasn't any help. he just stayed out of it. there i was with this baby and i didn't feel anything inside. and i felt jipped for not having a pregnancy.

now...at first glance this seems like some kind of i'm-not-ready-to-have-a-baby dream. but its never that literal. so i thought about it. i think its about ed and his job. he's talking about moving on from this job and starting his own thing. which i find exciting. i'm totally supportive of that. but there is definitely the worry in the back of my mind about how we'll get by. i'm not only not bringing in money but i'm paying like 3 diff school payments. so i'm really worried. because we have no wiggle room. i can't leave school and get a job. i can't do anything. i'm stuck doing this till october. even though i think he's level headed and he's always been good with money. i still have that worry in the back of my mind. thats probably what caused the dream. its something i'm excited about (ed starting his own thing) but i'm not ready for it (because i'm still in school) and i can't do it on my own (support us) because i suck at it. i don't think it has to do with babies. except maybe that i hope i don't get pregnant before october because then we'd be doubly screwed.