Ok so part of me is like let get a job. We need a job. We need to contribute. We want to have worth. People think I'm some bum who sits at home all day. And can you blame them? I kinda do.
So I apply to jobs. Now its getting to the point where I'll apply to anything that will pay decent. But I'm freaking out a little. Because the thought of working some mediocre whatever job the rest of my life scares the shit out of me. No offense to anyone but I don't want to be like my parents and work some lame job my whole life. I always wanted more for myself. I went to school and learned all these great things and applying them to the real world is so much harder than I thought. All I ever wanted was a cool career. Something I could be proud of. Somewhere where I could use my creativity. Something that provided for my family but also gave me a sense of pride. Something people could look at and go "wow, she does that? thats so cool!"
But with every passing year I see myself getting older and find those opportunities slipping away. And it kills me. I will feel like such a complete failure in life if I just worked some ho hum job and never made something of myself. Thats my biggest fear.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
on another note...
I often go through life feeling like i don't belong. no matter what city i live in, whether its among strangers or friends and family, i feel like i don't belong. i feel so alone sometimes.
my goal in life is to feel like i belong to something. thats what mission ska has given me. i've found friends on twitter who share so much of my opinions and loves that i finally feel like i'm understood. when i explained my ideals, what was in my heart to my friend gabe (twitter friend who runs a podcast) he understood and felt the same way. he supported me. it was such an amazing feeling to finally be understood.
its an understanding that i've never had before. because no one in my life (other than ed) has ever gotten the whole ska thing. diana liked ska but not the same way. i don't believe she loves it the way i do. in fact she hasn't seemed to care much about mission ska at all. which was really disappointing. so its so freeing to explain mission ska and have people actually get it and say i'm doing something important.
on the other hand, i'm not all ska. there's the other part of me. the twitter.com/sushifabush part of me. so do i feel completely understood? no. i don't know if i ever will.
sometimes i feel like ed keeps me like a pet. he loves me and puts up with me. and for all my eccentricities he pats me on the head. but i don't feel like he admires me in any way. looks up to me like i do to him. he's obviously the smart grown up one. i just want to find my place in this world where people look up to me. is that such a weird thing? such a selfish thing? maybe i wouldn't feel like such a loser.
my goal in life is to feel like i belong to something. thats what mission ska has given me. i've found friends on twitter who share so much of my opinions and loves that i finally feel like i'm understood. when i explained my ideals, what was in my heart to my friend gabe (twitter friend who runs a podcast) he understood and felt the same way. he supported me. it was such an amazing feeling to finally be understood.
its an understanding that i've never had before. because no one in my life (other than ed) has ever gotten the whole ska thing. diana liked ska but not the same way. i don't believe she loves it the way i do. in fact she hasn't seemed to care much about mission ska at all. which was really disappointing. so its so freeing to explain mission ska and have people actually get it and say i'm doing something important.
on the other hand, i'm not all ska. there's the other part of me. the twitter.com/sushifabush part of me. so do i feel completely understood? no. i don't know if i ever will.
sometimes i feel like ed keeps me like a pet. he loves me and puts up with me. and for all my eccentricities he pats me on the head. but i don't feel like he admires me in any way. looks up to me like i do to him. he's obviously the smart grown up one. i just want to find my place in this world where people look up to me. is that such a weird thing? such a selfish thing? maybe i wouldn't feel like such a loser.
life update
on the house search:
realtors suck. they're sharks. they only care about money. they'll give you any shpiel to get you to go with them. i can't just go look at houses on my own.
on my health:
i've gained back 3 lbs and stayed there. i need to get back to my better habits and work out again my but shoulder is an obstacle right now.
at the big d show i must have pulled something and as a result i ripped some tendons in my shoulder. i've been suffering for 2 weeks. i went to the doctor finally yesterday and she put me on these anti inflammatory pills. they said they "mat cause drowsiness" and that i should take one a day but she told me i could take 2 the first day. so i did. they took forever to kick in but then somewhere in the middle of the night i woke up and scratched myself and i felt numb on the top layer of my skin. it was the weirdest thing. yet i still had the shoulder pain. i feel ok this morning but i usually feel good in the mornings and throughout the day the pain gets worse and worse till its night time and i can't sleep. i'm really hoping these pills work and this thing gets better. i don't wanna have to come in for cortisone shots. but i'm so over this damn pain. i can't do anything. its my right shoulder and i'm right handed.
on my feelings:
i'm feeling empty right now. its probably the PMS. also probably because i don't have anything to look forward to. i always do better with thing to look fwd to. ed has been so busy the last week. i hardly see him at all. i definitely have resentment that he's out having beers and dancing on tables (Opa) with people and going out to dinners while i sit here alone in the dark with no one to talk to. it wouldn't bother me if i had my own things going on to keep me busy, but i don't.
on that job:
i followed up and the woman said she wants to work with me but that things are on hold right now. which is fine with me. i almost feel like i should just get any job right now.to do my part.
on mission ska:
don't be mistaken. mission ska is still very much alive. things have slowed down at the moment because there's just not much going on. i still have plans to put on a show but this time i won't be rushing into it. i'm going to take my time and plan it out really well. because we're looking for houses i don't feel like i should be putting our money on the line unless i'm really sure things will work out. ed already told me this is costing him money. but for those of you who think this was just some fad, some idea i started but gave up on, you're wrong. its just a lull but things are still ongoing.
on the bright side"
i got my first paycheck from cafe press $137 :)
realtors suck. they're sharks. they only care about money. they'll give you any shpiel to get you to go with them. i can't just go look at houses on my own.
on my health:
i've gained back 3 lbs and stayed there. i need to get back to my better habits and work out again my but shoulder is an obstacle right now.
at the big d show i must have pulled something and as a result i ripped some tendons in my shoulder. i've been suffering for 2 weeks. i went to the doctor finally yesterday and she put me on these anti inflammatory pills. they said they "mat cause drowsiness" and that i should take one a day but she told me i could take 2 the first day. so i did. they took forever to kick in but then somewhere in the middle of the night i woke up and scratched myself and i felt numb on the top layer of my skin. it was the weirdest thing. yet i still had the shoulder pain. i feel ok this morning but i usually feel good in the mornings and throughout the day the pain gets worse and worse till its night time and i can't sleep. i'm really hoping these pills work and this thing gets better. i don't wanna have to come in for cortisone shots. but i'm so over this damn pain. i can't do anything. its my right shoulder and i'm right handed.
on my feelings:
i'm feeling empty right now. its probably the PMS. also probably because i don't have anything to look forward to. i always do better with thing to look fwd to. ed has been so busy the last week. i hardly see him at all. i definitely have resentment that he's out having beers and dancing on tables (Opa) with people and going out to dinners while i sit here alone in the dark with no one to talk to. it wouldn't bother me if i had my own things going on to keep me busy, but i don't.
on that job:
i followed up and the woman said she wants to work with me but that things are on hold right now. which is fine with me. i almost feel like i should just get any job right now.to do my part.
on mission ska:
don't be mistaken. mission ska is still very much alive. things have slowed down at the moment because there's just not much going on. i still have plans to put on a show but this time i won't be rushing into it. i'm going to take my time and plan it out really well. because we're looking for houses i don't feel like i should be putting our money on the line unless i'm really sure things will work out. ed already told me this is costing him money. but for those of you who think this was just some fad, some idea i started but gave up on, you're wrong. its just a lull but things are still ongoing.
on the bright side"
i got my first paycheck from cafe press $137 :)
Friday, February 12, 2010
Feb. Update.
I haven't blogged in a while.
So let me give you a quick update.
Umm....lets see. I've seen big D, ska is dead, the slackers, big d again, and next week is The English Beat with Fishbone. So its been skatastic since I began Mission Ska in November. I was planning a show in March at Churchills but it just turned out to be too expensive so i cancelled and decided to scale back. All ages shows with smaller bands.
What else? ok well i got a text from a friend who works at SAE telling me that some company was looking for editors. so i called them and we set up an interview. i went. it seemed to have gone well. although there's a language barrier because he doesn't speak english. but i think i held my own. it felt cool to know what i was talking about and to have some input and stuff. :) they haven't called back and frankly i don't care if they do because i'm pretty busy with mission ska. of course i'm not gonna turn it down if they wanna offer me a job.
we're in the process of looking for houses. finally. we're limited of course because we only have one income and we can't go west or south because ed doesn't want a long commute. we just started looking and its already looking bleak. we got this realtor that came highly recommended by my friend april. although she seems nice she's not really meeting my needs as far as communication goes. she hardly ever gets back to me. i'm thinking of going with my mom's cousin instead.
we haven't told my parents that we're looking for houses, no have we told doris. with my parents i know they're just try to tell us that buying a house is a bad idea just like they did before. and doris will try to take over. so we'd rather wait till we find something we like before we even get them involved. but today my dad busted out with "so...have you found a house yet?" all snotty like. just come out and say someone told you that. don't be all 5th grade about it. geez. annoying.
wed i went to the big d show by myself again. got to meet some of the guys i didn't meet last time and got to talk to ryan again. i swear he's just the best. and i waited around in the cold till 2am to give them cupcakes but they didn't come out. so i left them with a note. hope they got them.
ok i think we're pretty caught up. now, the reason i'm writing this blog is to tell you what i did today. i dropped my parents and grandma off at the port for their weekend cruise. so i took their car and went to kendall to scope out some possible venues for shows. jenny had told me that they have a stage at Super Wheels (a cool skating rink). i had emailed them about it but they never wrote back. so i went in there today and talked to them and they were really cool. they said they put on rock shows in there all the time. well mostly hip hop and DJs but they do rock as well. so i asked what it would take and she gave me the specs. very interesting. i think it would be an awesome place for shows. then i went to kinkos and printed out some more mission ska flyers. i was going to leave them at Drake's. Drake's is a night club in kendall in a strip mall which i had asked if they do rock shows. They enthusiastically replied (via twitter) to tell me that yes! and to get in touch with them. so when i went over today i saw they were closed. probably because they're only open at night. fine. i called the number they gave me and this guy answered (without even saying the name of the business) and he was all rushing me. and i asked about booking bands and he was just acting like i was completely bothering him. he gave me snippy answers like he didn't want my business. then he was like can you hold on a second? and i said sure. he proceeds to put me on hold. and about 5 min later i fucking hung up. i mean how fucking rude. you could have very easily asked me to call back at another time. that was just a dick move. wow. so yeah thats one big strike against them. they're acting like they're all that and shit. psh. they're so not.
i feel like i got maybe 3 hours of sleep last night. i'm zausted. but thankfully i don't have to pick up ed and this is vday weekend.:) nothing big planned this year as i'm like whatevs about it. all i care about is that we spend some nice time together this weekend. i don't need anything special. sat night we're going to an english pub to have some dinner and watch some ska. i'm really looking fwd to it. :)
oh ps. yesterday i made mini cupcakes for valentines day. and today i brought some down to my fav front desk guy danny. he was happy :)
So let me give you a quick update.
Umm....lets see. I've seen big D, ska is dead, the slackers, big d again, and next week is The English Beat with Fishbone. So its been skatastic since I began Mission Ska in November. I was planning a show in March at Churchills but it just turned out to be too expensive so i cancelled and decided to scale back. All ages shows with smaller bands.
What else? ok well i got a text from a friend who works at SAE telling me that some company was looking for editors. so i called them and we set up an interview. i went. it seemed to have gone well. although there's a language barrier because he doesn't speak english. but i think i held my own. it felt cool to know what i was talking about and to have some input and stuff. :) they haven't called back and frankly i don't care if they do because i'm pretty busy with mission ska. of course i'm not gonna turn it down if they wanna offer me a job.
we're in the process of looking for houses. finally. we're limited of course because we only have one income and we can't go west or south because ed doesn't want a long commute. we just started looking and its already looking bleak. we got this realtor that came highly recommended by my friend april. although she seems nice she's not really meeting my needs as far as communication goes. she hardly ever gets back to me. i'm thinking of going with my mom's cousin instead.
we haven't told my parents that we're looking for houses, no have we told doris. with my parents i know they're just try to tell us that buying a house is a bad idea just like they did before. and doris will try to take over. so we'd rather wait till we find something we like before we even get them involved. but today my dad busted out with "so...have you found a house yet?" all snotty like. just come out and say someone told you that. don't be all 5th grade about it. geez. annoying.
wed i went to the big d show by myself again. got to meet some of the guys i didn't meet last time and got to talk to ryan again. i swear he's just the best. and i waited around in the cold till 2am to give them cupcakes but they didn't come out. so i left them with a note. hope they got them.
ok i think we're pretty caught up. now, the reason i'm writing this blog is to tell you what i did today. i dropped my parents and grandma off at the port for their weekend cruise. so i took their car and went to kendall to scope out some possible venues for shows. jenny had told me that they have a stage at Super Wheels (a cool skating rink). i had emailed them about it but they never wrote back. so i went in there today and talked to them and they were really cool. they said they put on rock shows in there all the time. well mostly hip hop and DJs but they do rock as well. so i asked what it would take and she gave me the specs. very interesting. i think it would be an awesome place for shows. then i went to kinkos and printed out some more mission ska flyers. i was going to leave them at Drake's. Drake's is a night club in kendall in a strip mall which i had asked if they do rock shows. They enthusiastically replied (via twitter) to tell me that yes! and to get in touch with them. so when i went over today i saw they were closed. probably because they're only open at night. fine. i called the number they gave me and this guy answered (without even saying the name of the business) and he was all rushing me. and i asked about booking bands and he was just acting like i was completely bothering him. he gave me snippy answers like he didn't want my business. then he was like can you hold on a second? and i said sure. he proceeds to put me on hold. and about 5 min later i fucking hung up. i mean how fucking rude. you could have very easily asked me to call back at another time. that was just a dick move. wow. so yeah thats one big strike against them. they're acting like they're all that and shit. psh. they're so not.
i feel like i got maybe 3 hours of sleep last night. i'm zausted. but thankfully i don't have to pick up ed and this is vday weekend.:) nothing big planned this year as i'm like whatevs about it. all i care about is that we spend some nice time together this weekend. i don't need anything special. sat night we're going to an english pub to have some dinner and watch some ska. i'm really looking fwd to it. :)
oh ps. yesterday i made mini cupcakes for valentines day. and today i brought some down to my fav front desk guy danny. he was happy :)
Monday, December 28, 2009
TIME FOR A RANT
time to take to my trusty blog for a lengthy rant.
2 things i fucking hate
1. when people look at me and assume i eat like a pig. i don't! and fuck you!!
2. when people proceed to lecture me about my eating habits and exercise without even asking me what i've been doing with myself. because guess what I ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'RE TELLING ME!! i've been dieting and exercising for 6 months and i've lots 25lbs thank you very much! but do you care?? any praise for that? no of course not! because you just came out of the blue and saw me today and thought, she's fat, she needs my help. well FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!!!!!!! go fuck yourself!!
and to all those fucking self righteous shitheads who feel the need to "enlighten" me on something they think i don't already know or haven't already heard from 30 people before them GO FUCK YASELF!!
you can tell the people in my life who actually know and care about me because they're with me throughout the struggle. they're there to hear about my progress. they notice when i've lost weight. they don't lecture me because they know i'm trying. instead they're there for me. they listen to me. they cheer me on. these are the people i care about. the rest of them can suck my big fat dick.
2 things i fucking hate
1. when people look at me and assume i eat like a pig. i don't! and fuck you!!
2. when people proceed to lecture me about my eating habits and exercise without even asking me what i've been doing with myself. because guess what I ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'RE TELLING ME!! i've been dieting and exercising for 6 months and i've lots 25lbs thank you very much! but do you care?? any praise for that? no of course not! because you just came out of the blue and saw me today and thought, she's fat, she needs my help. well FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!!!!!!! go fuck yourself!!
and to all those fucking self righteous shitheads who feel the need to "enlighten" me on something they think i don't already know or haven't already heard from 30 people before them GO FUCK YASELF!!
you can tell the people in my life who actually know and care about me because they're with me throughout the struggle. they're there to hear about my progress. they notice when i've lost weight. they don't lecture me because they know i'm trying. instead they're there for me. they listen to me. they cheer me on. these are the people i care about. the rest of them can suck my big fat dick.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
late night/early morning blogging
when there's nothing else to do but think...
i'm tired of trying to force my husband to take an interest in me. i rub up on him, i literally pick up his hands and rub them on me. and the second i let go his hands fall. he is so not interested at all. i can't be mad at him because there are times when i'm like that. so why can't he be like that? because he's not. he's the guy. and he's always been the one to stand at attention whenever he's near me. but lately not so much.
but he's always distracted. either by the tv or the computer or being tired. he never even looks at me anymore. i'm not getting any attention from him. sad thing is i've been feeling very affectionate towards him lately. but its going to waste. maybe this explains the bad dreams.
also...
i'm not excited about xmas this year. i mean, i'm not anti xmas. its nice. i'm just not excited about it. i'm enjoying the month of december. enjoying vacation time. enjoying having a social calendar. just don't feel that feeling. i'm in a good mood thats for sure. just not feeling the excitement. feeling like i could take or leave the pomp and circumstance. i'm satisfied the way things are. but i feel like if i don't celebrate this holiday i'll regret it come the spring.
i'm tired of trying to force my husband to take an interest in me. i rub up on him, i literally pick up his hands and rub them on me. and the second i let go his hands fall. he is so not interested at all. i can't be mad at him because there are times when i'm like that. so why can't he be like that? because he's not. he's the guy. and he's always been the one to stand at attention whenever he's near me. but lately not so much.
but he's always distracted. either by the tv or the computer or being tired. he never even looks at me anymore. i'm not getting any attention from him. sad thing is i've been feeling very affectionate towards him lately. but its going to waste. maybe this explains the bad dreams.
also...
i'm not excited about xmas this year. i mean, i'm not anti xmas. its nice. i'm just not excited about it. i'm enjoying the month of december. enjoying vacation time. enjoying having a social calendar. just don't feel that feeling. i'm in a good mood thats for sure. just not feeling the excitement. feeling like i could take or leave the pomp and circumstance. i'm satisfied the way things are. but i feel like if i don't celebrate this holiday i'll regret it come the spring.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I went to the show ALONE!!
as i sit eating the first morsel of food to hit my stomach in nearly 12 hours i'm desperately trying to organize the memories of the night that are flooding through my mind. trying to remember every minute detail in its entirety. at this moment i don't care that i'm eating mcdonalds for the first time in 3 months, or that i had to drive around for an extra 30 min to find an open drive thru that took credit cards (because i spent my last $15 on illScarlette cds, leaving me with $1 in my wallet). all i care about is basking in the glow that was tonight. a most spontaneous, surprising, glorious night. to say that i'm proud of myself would be an understatement. and to say i was happy would be a gross understatement. for i am so ecstatic, so busting with jubilence and love that the seems that hold my body together can barely contain it all!
i will attempt...without bursting...to put the events of this night in writing. now. while they're still fresh. though i'm fucking starving and would love to eat, i must get this all down now. for like a dream, with every passing moment, it will begin to fade. and its already been an hour and a half! and thats not counting my endless rambling. so here we go.
as i only found out about this show a week ago, and seeing that it was in LAKE WORTH or what i like to call Bufu (i'd never even heard of lake worth before this), i had no one to go with. seeing as how its a week night and everyone works. and the ones that don't, don't even know or could care less about ska. and being that it was in bufu i had written it off. but then i thought...hey...whats really holding me back from going?? i have a car. i don't have to work the next day. why the fuck not? so i psyched myself up and decided just a couple of days before that yes i would go alone. ALONE! ME!!! can you believe it??
the drive there was surprisingly easy. no traffic at that time. it took me an hour but it was a smooth and easy hour with lots of ska to keep me entertained. when i got to lake worth i was surprised to find that it was a quite nice looking little town. not shady at all like i had thought. not like miami. oof. i actually wasn't afraid someone would steal my car. and can we talk about parking? i was able to get a spot right in front of the club, which to my delight had its name on the front in neon letters. PROPAGANDA. let me tell you, though its small this place has character out the wazoo. this is a superb venue in my opinion. very intimate, plenty of seats at the bar, friendly staff, clean bathrooms and i really like that it was an 18+ crowd. oh and did i mention the parking?!?! I def give Propaganda an A+. In fact, I'm sure I'll go there again.
When i got to the door they gave me a bracelet to indicate i was old enough to drink and get this...it was checkerboard!!
it was a sure sign that the night would be awesome. I walked in feeling confident and totally excited. And for once I didn't feel completely self conscious. i hung out, and watched the methodaires. they were awesome! they played a great set, i especially loved their one upbeat tune____________. they're from ft laud. yay for local ska bands. gotta get in touch with them.
then whilst waiting for the 2nd band i thought perhaps this would be a good time to imbibe as i imagined liquor would loosen me up so i could talk to ppl. i didn't find an open spot at the bar so i waited...and low and behold some chick jumped off the bar stool in front of me. i asked the guy next to it if the seat was taken. he said no and graciously offered it to me. i sat down and saw that the guy in question was Ryan, the sax player from Big D sitting next to Dave the singer. AHHHHH!!! freak out much? ok ok play it cool mel. besides, what was i gonna say anyway? so i asked him what drink i should get that wasn't too strong. he asked me if i liked beer. i said no. he said the mixed drinks weren't very strong. so i went for a sex on the beach. he asked me what i ordered, i told him, he said "good call". then i tasted it and said "this is strong" to which he replied "sorry about that." lol. can i just stop right now and say how nice ryan was? super friendly. anyway i sat there drinking. freaking out inside that he even spoke to me. and that i was right next to them. when all of a sudden dave leans over and says "Whats Emerson?" you'll come to find that this was the theme of the night. you see, i was wearing my EMERSON SUCKS tshirt that i had made back when i was going to Emerson College in Boston. i haven't worn the shirt in years but i had nothing else to wear to the show so i threw it on. and thank god too because it ended up being quite an ice breaker. but back to my story. I answered him "Emerson College". "In Boston?", he said? "Yeah", I said," I went there. I used to wear this to class". He really got a kick out of that. and i just about died inside.
a few min later the bartender said she liked my shirt. "I don't know what it means, but I like it. My ex-husband's name is Emerson". Wow! what are the odds? i laughed. ryan looked over and said "she just likes your bad attitude". :) you might be thinking at this point that ryan is adorable. and you'd be right! but there's more (fuck i almost forgot). i was thinking so hard of what i could talk to him about since he was right there. he asked me when i went to emerson. i told him the whole spiel. i told him that i had seen them at a frat party at MIT some years ago. i asked him the only thing i could think of, "where did you guys shoot the video for Shining on?". He told me they filmed it in LA of all places! the gall! lol here i was, and probably some of you, thinking it was filmed in boston! but no. LA. imagine that. ;)
then the convo died down as i couldn't think of anything else to say and i didn't want to bug them. for crying out loud, its astonishing they showed as much interest as they did!! it was almost painful though, to know he was ready to listen but i just had nothing to say. oh well. i turned around to enjoy illscarlett. they were great as well! they had no horns. but their keyboard player reminded me sooooo much of scott klopfenstein of rbf. they were more on the punky side sometimes leaning toward hardcore but all the while with ska guitar riffs. the singer was short but very charismatic. the drummer was sporting some pretty short shorts. don't think that went unnoticed.
then the moment came...big d and the kids table hit the stage. i got right up front with camera in hand. unfortunately someone taller got in front of me. but still, i was close enough that i could see just fine. big d was of course AMAZING. and i have never had such a great view of a band. i mean, i was right up front. thanks to it being a tuesday night the club wasn't packed. so there was room to breathe for sure. i got some great video of them doing "noise complaint" and i got some of "shining on" before my stupid memory card filled up. i'm always so torn about recording video. on the one hand you can't dance, and you really love that song and you wanna dance. but on the other hand you know you'll love having that video later. its a toss up. i had to get the video because i've never been that close to a band before! by the way, you're welcome.
during big D there was this one really drunk guy. he was a really hardcore fan and knew all the words to all the songs. he was beyond enthusiastic. he bumped into me multiple times. at one point i thought he would burn me with his cigarette. but one time he bumped me and then put his hand on my shoulder and smiled and apologized. so i said to myself, this kid's alright. he had a sharp lookin hat too. i just hope he didn't drive home because oooof. when big d ended the set drunk guy led a chant of "LAX" and then proceeded to get on the microphone and shout "LAX! LAX!" incessantly. the band came back to do their encore and even they were like geez relax guy. they played a couple more songs but they didn't play LAX. lol. i was happy with how much material was from Strictly Rude. They played some of my favs but I was really hoping they would play "She knows her way". I found myself not knowing a good deal of the songs but it didn't stop me from enjoying the hell out of it and dancing my little heart out. i thoroughly enjoyed the entire set. i gotta say, i was mesmerized by Dave's incredibly laid back moves. I don't know how he does it. Its not even to the rhythm he just like..on his own wave length. the Doped Up Dollies were great as well. great pipes and fun to watch. especially for the fellas as they are very beautiful and elegant. oh i have to mention that for Strictly Rude Dave busted out a pianica! old skool. *edit* ok so since this is only going on my personal blog, i can be honest. those fucking doped up dollies were so annoying!! who cares! get the fuck off the stage i didn't come to see you! ugh....
i should mention that i met some nice people from miami. i was so excited to see that people from miami were at a ska show. so i had to make sure i have them the website. hopefully they join the mission!
after the show i bought some merch. i asked ryan if he could sign their cd (god he is soo nice!) and he did. he wrote EMERSON SUCKS underneath his signature!
:D
then he asked Dave if he could sign it too. and dave, omg, he is one of the most genuinely friendly people i have ever met. honestly, there's just no ego there at all. he told me how cool it was that i actually wore that shirt to class. and again i died inside. i explained to him what mission:ska is and asked him if i could get a short interview before they left. he told me to hang out by the trailer to make sure i caught them before they left. wow! i felt like a total tool standing there. like..omg these people must think i'm a stalker. lol. but i waited patiently. i watched the guys load the trailer and studied them. trying to get a feel for what its like to be a band on tour. i wish i could go with them and experience it.
outside were some nice girls who were talking to dave about Lynn, MA. they came up and talked to me. they were very cool. one of them, laura, gave me a hug and asked to have a picture taken with me. lol. how cute is that?
dave was super cool. he didn't blow me off. at one point he even made an announcement that i would be taping them. lol. so pressure right? i had so wanted it to be a real interview but my fucking memory card sucks ass so it had to be short. and after they were done loading up dave called ryan over and they graciously made this little video for me. i honestly can't say enough nice things about these guys. i'm flabbergasted. i have not met 2 nicer guys in my life. just great people. thank you guys. from the bottom of my heart. nothing makes me happier than bands who are nice to their fans.
whether it was the metodaries, ill scarlett, or big d i found myself scoping out each member. watching how they played their instruments and really appreciating it. fascinated by every detail. how they wrapped their mic cords around their stands. how their horns seemed to be faded. how they played the drums or the keyboard. truly appreciating how each one of them worked their craft. i was truly amazed. they're all so talented.
one thing that shocked me about this night was hot incredibly positive i was. i never made a shit face. even when guys were knocking me with their elbows, or stepping on my feet. i just smiled. it must have been the music. i was just radiating love. and i've found that instead of being closed off and expecting someone to be a jerk i should just smile. people are pretty nice. if you smile at them, they're probably gonna smile back.
now really, i gotta go...my chicken nuggets are cold.
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