wooooow

I swear. Just because people know about my surgery they feel like they have the right to be all up in my business!!

My parents are always drilling me about if I'm losing weight (why wouldn't i be? i have been for the past 6 months), if i'm exercising, and if so what i'm doing. and when i tell them, they're not happy with that answer. "wii fit isn't walking, its not the gym, its jutst walking in place" are you fucking serious??? you're fatter than me!! and what are you doing??? NOTHING. you've never even played wii fit. you don't even know what it entails you jerk. i get a workout from that, my arms get sore from that. so fuck you. why are you all up in my grill? jesus christ! worry about YOURSELF!! i don't ask you what you're doing. or why YOU're not losing weight. jesus. you didn't pay for my surgery. you don't own my new stomach. i don't have to report to you.

and thats just my parents.

i have family members  and such putting their 2 cents in too. i feel like because i told people about my surgery i somehow opened the door for everyone to be concerned with every single thing i do. ummm..why is everyone so concerned about me? maybe you should worry about yourselves. i'm focusing on improving MYSELF. maybe you guys should do the same. stop worrying about me and worry about yourself. you don't see me all up in your business. none of you are perfect. maybe when you're all done improving yourselves and making yourselves perfect maybe then you can say something to me.

and i wanna tell people this but i don't know how without offending them. i tried telling my parents something. but they countered with "but we just care about you.  look. if you want to know whether i'm still losing, look at me. you can tell. and thats it. its like they're waiting for me to fail and so they keep asking and checking and checking. and its pissing me the fuck off. you're not there everyday. you don't see how i live my life. if you'd pay attention you'd see i eat great, i'm doing great. but i don't feel the need to explain myself  or answer your surveys about every little thing i'm doing. its insulting.

lay off. if you want to know what i'm doing, pay attention. spend more time with me. observe. but stop it with the fucking questions and the fucking opinions that no one asked you for.

I tried the chocolate coconut flavor

I have to say I was disappointed. It just tasted like chocolate milk. I couldn't taste the coconut at all really. And I'm not a fan of chocolate milk at all. If you are, you'll probably like this but if not you probably won't. And if you're hoping this will taste like a mounds bar you will be sorely disappointed.

Friday weigh in

the scale moved. whew! 1.5lbs. but i'm a little annoyed because i'm a week behind where i wanted to be. i think there will be some nights where i'll drink a protein shake for dinner as well.

man i guess you get addicted to the lbs dropping man. because i tasted it and i want more.

HOLY SHISHKABOB!!!

I got my 2 new protein powders today. Same BSN Lean Protein brand but this time I got Banana creme pudding flavor and Chocolate coconut candy bar flavor. I got them from amazon for like $17 each but they have free shipping for orders above $25 so it was a deal to get them both. Cheaper than allstarhealth.com. But if you're just getting one tub i would go with allstarhealth.com. shipping and tax and all it will come out to $20 on there.

anyway i opened them both up. the chocolate one smelled nice and chocolately. the banana one smelled OMG sooo good. it smelled like that medicine my mom used to give me as a kid. do you guys remember those? the pharmacist will mix kids medicine with bubble gum flavor or banana flavor so the kid will want to take it? well i always loved the banana one. it also smells like a banana popsicle. omg i was like i HAVE to drink this. it didn't even have a protein smell or any strong smell other than loveliness!

so i made it in the shaker cup. wow. this stuff came out SO creamy and thick. imagine if you put it in the blender. i didn't have to put any syrups or anything in here. there's no funky taste. no after taste. just deliciousness. wow. i'm blown away!! i love having all this selection of good tasting protein powder. these are very very filling. i think if i tried to drink this in the first month after surgery i wouldn't be able too. i wouldn't be able to handle it. but i'm able to tolerate a lot more now. like before i couldn't handle ANY bubbles. so no blender, not even a shaker cup.

omg this shake is soooo good!! i love the cinnamon one but this one is even better. i wonder how the chocolate coconut one will be! :)

stall :(

well i weighed myself right when i woke up and i weighed the same as last week. then i went back to bed and when i woke up again i weighed again. i was .5lb less than before. so technically its a loss but still. whats going on? i was getting such great numbers!  now i'm not gonna freak out too much. because its only one week. it could be a number of things. I've been eating the same way as previous weeks. which is what makes it frustrating. we'll see what happens next week.

Friday weigh in update

So guess what? I not only reached my March 25th goal, I passed it! w00t w00t!

Last week I was 187 (the week before that i was 189.5) and today i'm 184.5. My goal was to be 186lbs which is the weight i was when i met my husband 12 yrs ago in march. woohooo!!!

I gotta tell ya I'm loving these numbers. Especially after having been in a little stall after the holidays. and I owe it ALL to this new protein powder. It's serious. I'm just too full now. All I eat pretty much is cheese, peanuts, garbanzo beans, greek yogurt and water. Occasionally I'll have a bite or two of something I cook for dinner but its getting to the point where there's no point in cooking dinner.  Despite not eating meals I'm very satiated and full even. Its a bit of a struggle now to even get my waters in.

I'm starting to see changes in  my arms. Which is interesting because I hadn't seen much in my arms. I mean i've been lifting weights even before surgery but now it seems some of the fat is starting to melt away and i can start to see some definition. it might be all the Wii rhythm kung fu. my arms and back always feel sore after i do that. and i hear using your own body weight helps you get sculpted. i still have a long way to go. but i def see improvements. also my but is looking better too :) squats.

for the first time i'm having a little inkling of hope that maybe some parts of my body will bounce back and look decent. my arms are questionable but there is a chance. my ass i'm not worried about. its really improving. my boobs are saggy and sad but i can live with that. my problem areas are my gut, my upper thighs and my back boobs. the gut and thighs will have to get the snip snip for sure. my back is not nearly as saggy or stretched out but there just seems to be sooo much of it. when i try to get my shoulders blades to touch i can feel the folds of skin on my back. its gross. i'm hoping that with weight loss it shrinks back there. its such a strange feeling to be fat in your back and its taking forever to go away.

the thought of plastic surgery scares the crap out of me so i'm hoping for as much natural shrinkage as i can get.

In the meantime I'm loving the weight loss! i had to throw out all my old pajama pants and buy new ones. its so nice to wear pants that aren't falling off. which reminds me..i need new regular pants. which sucks because i'm 5'0 so i have to get them hemmed. a waste of money bc i just need a new pair after a month. and i bought some new tees at old navy yesterday.

This weekend my sis in law and brother in law are coming over for the weekend! i'm so excited!!

see the thing about food now is that certain foods are so not worth it to me. especially now that i can't hardly eat. whatever it is i'll only eat a few bites. so i'm not gonna stress about it. just gonna make sure i have my snacks on me at all times. :)

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!

i'll do the cooking for you

Ok so i'm always posting pics of what i cook and my friends are always saying i should write a cook book or that they wanna hire me to cook for them. so i said why not and i created this website. http://melicooks.weebly.com/

i figured why not because i'm not having any luck finding work, i love to cook (i'm obsessed) so why not make a little pocket money? its not like i'm doing anything else with my time. i always want people to come over so i can cook for them, might as well get some money out of it.