Thank you for your comments on my stall you guys. It helped to hear all your support. Fuck the scale. I know I'm doing everything right and this morning I woke up and my tummy felt smaller. It actually felt smaller. I didn't weigh because I refuse to weigh myself more than once a week. But I did measure my waist and I'm down 1/2 and inch from last week. So I'm happy. It might take a while for the scale to catch up but I know I'm doing well. :)
Thanks you guys.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Really Annoyed -_-
Yes my friends i have hit a stall yet again. After doing really well and working out and lifting weights this week i still weigh exactly what i weighed last week. I was soooo looking forward to today.
And now I'm just really annoyed. Its like what else do you want me to do? As it is I hardly eat and what I do eat is high in protein and low in sugar and carbs. I even upped my water intake to 80oz a day! Honestly, there's not much more I can do other than just be on liquids. So I'm not gonna say its my eating, because its absolutely not my eating. I've eaten more food than this and lost weight. I don't know if its TOM (which comes next week) or lifting weights but I can't use those excuses every time I get on the scale and don't see movement. I'm just gonna chalk this one up to, sometimes the scale's gonna move, and sometimes it won't.
Its frustrating that it looks like its gonna take forever to lose these last 40lbs. Sigh...I swear part of me wants to say "you know what? if this is how you're gonna be i'll just have bacon and eggs for breakfast instead of this protein shake!" In the mornings I crave salty and in the evenings I crave sweet. So maybe instead of having the same protein shake every morning I'll just have a salty breakfast and save the protein for the evening. Make it into sugar free pudding maybe. Its a thought. Ugh I'm just really annoyed at the weight gods right now. What more do you want from me?! grr. I just want to keep losing! I want to get rid of this gut. I dreamt about it last night and i've accepted the whole plastic surgery thing. If i can get through WLS I can get through anything. So hurry up and let me lose the weight so I can get there already! sheeeeeesh! ugh.
And now I'm just really annoyed. Its like what else do you want me to do? As it is I hardly eat and what I do eat is high in protein and low in sugar and carbs. I even upped my water intake to 80oz a day! Honestly, there's not much more I can do other than just be on liquids. So I'm not gonna say its my eating, because its absolutely not my eating. I've eaten more food than this and lost weight. I don't know if its TOM (which comes next week) or lifting weights but I can't use those excuses every time I get on the scale and don't see movement. I'm just gonna chalk this one up to, sometimes the scale's gonna move, and sometimes it won't.
Its frustrating that it looks like its gonna take forever to lose these last 40lbs. Sigh...I swear part of me wants to say "you know what? if this is how you're gonna be i'll just have bacon and eggs for breakfast instead of this protein shake!" In the mornings I crave salty and in the evenings I crave sweet. So maybe instead of having the same protein shake every morning I'll just have a salty breakfast and save the protein for the evening. Make it into sugar free pudding maybe. Its a thought. Ugh I'm just really annoyed at the weight gods right now. What more do you want from me?! grr. I just want to keep losing! I want to get rid of this gut. I dreamt about it last night and i've accepted the whole plastic surgery thing. If i can get through WLS I can get through anything. So hurry up and let me lose the weight so I can get there already! sheeeeeesh! ugh.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
people who want to be really really fat.
I'm watching this episode of Tyra with this infamous woman who weighs like 500+lbs and she's trying to get to 1000lbs. sigh..it makes me so sad.
this episode is evoking so many emotions. so forgive me if my thoughts are disjointed.
i look at her and it hurts me. because i remember what it was like. i remember carrying that weight around and how uncomfortable it was and how much it weighed me down.
i remember spending lots of time online sharing pictures of myself with men and getting the validation that i never got from men in real life (other than my husband). i just loved the attention. yes i know the term BBW, i am very familiar with it. i loved myself. i didn't have self loathing. i didn't love being fat, it wasn't my preference, but i didn't look in the mirror and say "you're disgusting".
and she says she hates mobility. hates mobility? and that she doesn't care if it kills her because "we all have to die sometime". she got on the scale and saw she was only 513lbs and got depressed that she didn't weigh more.
the sad part is, she has no self worth. this whole thing is an act. its something she's put on to make herself feel ok with being this unhealthy. she pretends that she wants to be fatter and fatter because she feels helpless. she's convinced herself that its a positive thing. but deep down she is unhappy. she might have other people fooled but not me. the saddest thing of all is that she just had a baby. i think having a baby is sacred. not only should you stop making those exploitative videos online, you should think of your health for your baby's sake. if you care about your child at all, you should take care of yourself. also what kind of fucked up example are you setting for that child? what kind of warped relationship with food will that child have? do you think they want to look back at their mom (who probably died when they were less than 5yrs old) and see those degrading internet videos?
it just makes me soo sad to see people trying to be fat. it does soooo much damage to your body. i'm only 30 and there's so much damage done for being fat all those years. it just makes me so sad. i am so grateful to finally have gotten this chance to lose the weight. i don't know if i can ever explain how grateful i am. i wished for years for some kind of miracle like this. and thank God, i just thank God for this surgery. i used to watch shows about really obese (hate that word) people like 500lbs or more. and i used to think, am i that fat? am i getting there? and now i'm so grateful that i don't have to think that anymore. but i still feel for these people. so much.
it took me a long time to understand how much damage my weight was doing to my body. i was in denial because i was in pretty good health. my body is strong, its a trooper. its time i started treating it right.
i'm not saying you should strive to be thin or that people have to be thin to be attractive. NOT AT ALL. i think curves are beautiful, as long as you're healthy. its about so much more than looks. i didn't do this for looks (though it is a plus) i did this for my future children. life is just so much better when you're not weighed down by fat.
ok i'm done.
this episode is evoking so many emotions. so forgive me if my thoughts are disjointed.
i look at her and it hurts me. because i remember what it was like. i remember carrying that weight around and how uncomfortable it was and how much it weighed me down.
i remember spending lots of time online sharing pictures of myself with men and getting the validation that i never got from men in real life (other than my husband). i just loved the attention. yes i know the term BBW, i am very familiar with it. i loved myself. i didn't have self loathing. i didn't love being fat, it wasn't my preference, but i didn't look in the mirror and say "you're disgusting".
and she says she hates mobility. hates mobility? and that she doesn't care if it kills her because "we all have to die sometime". she got on the scale and saw she was only 513lbs and got depressed that she didn't weigh more.
the sad part is, she has no self worth. this whole thing is an act. its something she's put on to make herself feel ok with being this unhealthy. she pretends that she wants to be fatter and fatter because she feels helpless. she's convinced herself that its a positive thing. but deep down she is unhappy. she might have other people fooled but not me. the saddest thing of all is that she just had a baby. i think having a baby is sacred. not only should you stop making those exploitative videos online, you should think of your health for your baby's sake. if you care about your child at all, you should take care of yourself. also what kind of fucked up example are you setting for that child? what kind of warped relationship with food will that child have? do you think they want to look back at their mom (who probably died when they were less than 5yrs old) and see those degrading internet videos?
it just makes me soo sad to see people trying to be fat. it does soooo much damage to your body. i'm only 30 and there's so much damage done for being fat all those years. it just makes me so sad. i am so grateful to finally have gotten this chance to lose the weight. i don't know if i can ever explain how grateful i am. i wished for years for some kind of miracle like this. and thank God, i just thank God for this surgery. i used to watch shows about really obese (hate that word) people like 500lbs or more. and i used to think, am i that fat? am i getting there? and now i'm so grateful that i don't have to think that anymore. but i still feel for these people. so much.
it took me a long time to understand how much damage my weight was doing to my body. i was in denial because i was in pretty good health. my body is strong, its a trooper. its time i started treating it right.
i'm not saying you should strive to be thin or that people have to be thin to be attractive. NOT AT ALL. i think curves are beautiful, as long as you're healthy. its about so much more than looks. i didn't do this for looks (though it is a plus) i did this for my future children. life is just so much better when you're not weighed down by fat.
ok i'm done.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
The Truth about Special K
Did you know Special K has high fructose corn syrup in it? :( I love Special K. I hardly ever eat it though but every once in a while when I crave some carbs i'll have a cup.
What do you think? Does this make a difference to you? Will you still eat it? If Special K uses high fructose corn syrup you should be aware that other Special K products (protein drinks, bars) could use it too.
What do you think? Does this make a difference to you? Will you still eat it? If Special K uses high fructose corn syrup you should be aware that other Special K products (protein drinks, bars) could use it too.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
you know what i miss?
when i was first looking into wls i remember Amy W. (Once Upon A Time...In the Land of Cheese and Sunkist ) saying how she missed eating cinnamon rolls. and i have to say that really worried me. i thought...what? never able to eat another cinnamon roll? i don't want to live that way! personally, i know i can eat a cinnamon roll. it might just be a piece but i have comfort in knowing i'm not deprived of anything.
however there are some things i can't eat just because they don't go down right or get stuck. like tuna. i used to eat tuna a lot. i loved it. especially with crackers. but now it just goes down and gets stuck. but then i think oh well at least i won't have to worry about giving it up when i'm preggers. lol. same for sushi. i loved sushi rolls but i don't eat them because a. i avoid rice and b. i'm afraid it'll get stuck. but thats ok because there are so many other options at sushi places.
eggs? real eggs? they go down like cement. but i ate egg whites before surgery so i'm just fine with my egg whites.
bread. i try to avoid it. but every once in a while i will indulge but i have to be careful. i'm a carboholic and bread was my poison.
what i miss is sandwiches. nothing like a great sandwich. but sadly i can't really eat sandwiches now. why? because lunch meats get stuck and the bread is just too much. i can only get down a bite or 2 and its not even worth it. i'd rather eat a slice or 2 of cheese. so i kinda miss being able to have a sandwich on crusty doughy bread.
is there anything you miss?
however there are some things i can't eat just because they don't go down right or get stuck. like tuna. i used to eat tuna a lot. i loved it. especially with crackers. but now it just goes down and gets stuck. but then i think oh well at least i won't have to worry about giving it up when i'm preggers. lol. same for sushi. i loved sushi rolls but i don't eat them because a. i avoid rice and b. i'm afraid it'll get stuck. but thats ok because there are so many other options at sushi places.
eggs? real eggs? they go down like cement. but i ate egg whites before surgery so i'm just fine with my egg whites.
bread. i try to avoid it. but every once in a while i will indulge but i have to be careful. i'm a carboholic and bread was my poison.
what i miss is sandwiches. nothing like a great sandwich. but sadly i can't really eat sandwiches now. why? because lunch meats get stuck and the bread is just too much. i can only get down a bite or 2 and its not even worth it. i'd rather eat a slice or 2 of cheese. so i kinda miss being able to have a sandwich on crusty doughy bread.
is there anything you miss?
March goal
March 25th is me and my husband's 5yr anniversary. We've been together 12 yrs, married for 5. I wanted to do something special because we never do anything. We're huge homebodies. And everytime I try to plan something I always end up going ah forget it because it never seems worth the money. But this year i wanted to do something special. I mean 5 yrs is a milestone and I wanted to have some nice memories. Plus its also a kind of celebration for all my hard work and kind of like a mini 2nd honeymoon.
So after trying lots of different things I finally settled on a weekend cruise. I'm kind of excited about it. We've been on cruises before but never been on a Royal Caribbean cruise before. And now I have so much more energy so I'm really looking forward to enjoying it more this time. It will be a little bit of a challenge though. I eat so little and so frequently so i'm a little worried about what will be available. But I guess what I'm most worried about is getting all my waters in. I find that when I'm busy out and about I forget to drink my waters. And in the heat it will be REALLY crucial that I get all my waters in. So that will have to be something I stay on top of. I'm not worried about actual food selection because I can make healthy choices. They have tons of selection. Plus if I indulge it will only be a little. I have to make sure that I don't, however, just eat french fries and pizza like i did last time i went on a cruise. And as good as I am at the way I eat, I have to admit that if someone puts a pizza in front of me I will eat it. Lol. So yeah there's gonna be a slice eaten here or there but I can't make those my regular meals. I'm bringing my banana cream pudding protein powder. Which is perfect! It tastes so tropical. I can picture myself drinking my shake on the pool deck with the wind in my hair. so lovely. I know i'm gonna splurge. But I also know its not gonna be over the top. But i'll report back and let you guys know.
So after trying lots of different things I finally settled on a weekend cruise. I'm kind of excited about it. We've been on cruises before but never been on a Royal Caribbean cruise before. And now I have so much more energy so I'm really looking forward to enjoying it more this time. It will be a little bit of a challenge though. I eat so little and so frequently so i'm a little worried about what will be available. But I guess what I'm most worried about is getting all my waters in. I find that when I'm busy out and about I forget to drink my waters. And in the heat it will be REALLY crucial that I get all my waters in. So that will have to be something I stay on top of. I'm not worried about actual food selection because I can make healthy choices. They have tons of selection. Plus if I indulge it will only be a little. I have to make sure that I don't, however, just eat french fries and pizza like i did last time i went on a cruise. And as good as I am at the way I eat, I have to admit that if someone puts a pizza in front of me I will eat it. Lol. So yeah there's gonna be a slice eaten here or there but I can't make those my regular meals. I'm bringing my banana cream pudding protein powder. Which is perfect! It tastes so tropical. I can picture myself drinking my shake on the pool deck with the wind in my hair. so lovely. I know i'm gonna splurge. But I also know its not gonna be over the top. But i'll report back and let you guys know.
I just bought a new bathing suit
And between that and the clothes my hubby got for me at old navy i'm all set! its so nice to have pants and shorts that aren't falling off all the time. I even got a skirt! did i show you guys? i don't even remember the last time i wore a skirt that wasn't to my ankles.
Anyway right now I weigh 182.5lbs. I feel like I'm a week behind because of that stall last week. Which bugs me. Because I set a new goal for myself. By March 25th (my anniversary and the day we leave for the cruise), I want to be 175lbs. I only have 5 weeks and who knows at this point if i'll be able to make it. i don't know if i'll stall or what. i know i'm not losing as quickly as before. my normal range of weightloss has always been .5lbs-2lbs. for a couple weeks there i was losing 2lbs per week which was awesome! but now last week it was .5 and this week it was 1.5. which i really shouldn't complain about because its still in that same range but i guess the more you lose the faster you want to keep losing. anyway i'm going to bust my ass to make it to my goal. i've been slacking with workouts lately. i eat so little that it really didn't matter, the weight was coming off anyway, but i wanna kick it up a notch. i got some new workout shorts (my other ones were falling off!) and finally some sports bras (sadly my old bras are way too big for me now) and i'm ready to get back into it. having new stuff kinda motivates you to do it more. in fact i woke up this morning (sunday) and threw on my new gym clothes and i'm sitting here drinking my banana cream shake and preparing for the gym.
gotta kick ass if i wanna make it to 175lbs by march 25th. thats my goal! i'm putting it out to the universe. let's make it happen.
Friday, February 18, 2011
I have a question for you guys about vitamins
Who takes gummy vitamins? Are they approved by your doc? How much sugar do they have?
Also, what kind of multivitamin do you use? what brand?
i'm dying to get off these fucking chewables.
Also, what kind of multivitamin do you use? what brand?
i'm dying to get off these fucking chewables.
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