My tummy tuck is a month away! Exciting!!! Even though it seems overwhelming and my anxiety should be through the roof i've been handling it all really well. Better than expected! i think keeping busy with my mother/wife duties has been great. not only that i've been focusing my brain on my obsession with buying supplements from the vitamin shoppe and trying them out. lol! so thats good.
i have been preparing for this since october so thats good. i have been able to step by step gradually prep which is a big reason why i'm not stressed out. as of now i have purchased all my post-op supplies, even set up a healthy food delivery service for recovery and yesterday i did my bloodwork.
tuesday is my pre-op appt where i will get any other info that i need to know. and then its just a waiting game till march 16th
so i'm just keeping busy making sure i tie all loose ends (i still have to clean the house) and focus on getting as healthy and in shape as i can before surgery. i've been working hard with workouts all last year but especially since december when i started T25. i'm now on Gamma round and i will be done one week before surgery. then i'll give my body a chance to rest and recover before the big day. i feel strong. my arms, legs and core are all strong. i'm proud of that. i've been really diligent in doing everything i can on my end to get the best possible results and have the best possible recovery i can. the rest is in God's and the surgeon's hands.
and thats my update. :)
Friday, February 20, 2015
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
wonderful things on the horizon
- tummy tuck
-my best friend's wedding (i will be a bridesmaid and have a new body!)
-my 35th bday will be truly a celebration. for me. for how far i've come. and i'm going to really do it up.
-taking my son to Disney for the first time. what a totally different experience it will be for me on so many levels. being able to fit through turnstyles and on rides and having the energy and stamina to walk the whole park. and to see it from my son's eyes. so exciting
-christmas. christmas for me has always been the day i reveal my weightloss or new look. its when i see all my family. so its always a big deal for me. this year.....omg.....i don't even know what i will look like! i've never seen myself like that before so i'm really curious to see how i will look. one thing i know is i will look very diff than any other christmas and i will look amazing :)
in 2016
my husband and i will have our 10yr wedding anniversary in march of 2016. i'm already planning a get away just for us. which we haven't done since i was pregnant in 2011. i will wear a bikini and we will enjoy each other. and probably make baby #2 if i'm not already pregnant by then. lol!!! side note: i always told myself and told him i would wear a bikini on our honeymoon. i was morbidly obese so that was not happening. so amazing to finally be able to do that!
i'm so happy with so many wonderful things to look forward to. :)
-my best friend's wedding (i will be a bridesmaid and have a new body!)
-my 35th bday will be truly a celebration. for me. for how far i've come. and i'm going to really do it up.
-taking my son to Disney for the first time. what a totally different experience it will be for me on so many levels. being able to fit through turnstyles and on rides and having the energy and stamina to walk the whole park. and to see it from my son's eyes. so exciting
-christmas. christmas for me has always been the day i reveal my weightloss or new look. its when i see all my family. so its always a big deal for me. this year.....omg.....i don't even know what i will look like! i've never seen myself like that before so i'm really curious to see how i will look. one thing i know is i will look very diff than any other christmas and i will look amazing :)
in 2016
my husband and i will have our 10yr wedding anniversary in march of 2016. i'm already planning a get away just for us. which we haven't done since i was pregnant in 2011. i will wear a bikini and we will enjoy each other. and probably make baby #2 if i'm not already pregnant by then. lol!!! side note: i always told myself and told him i would wear a bikini on our honeymoon. i was morbidly obese so that was not happening. so amazing to finally be able to do that!
i'm so happy with so many wonderful things to look forward to. :)
Big Update
Wow....i haven't posted in ages. alot of things to report.
Last year was very very hard. It was the biggest test of my strength ever. So many changes that were NOT easy. Having to take on more responsibility around here bc of my husband's new schedule. it was not easy. i felt like i lost myself and i was just a servant for other people. i felt like i wasn't doing anything for ME. it really took its toll on my marriage. eventually we figured out a plan that worked. we agreed that once or twice a week my husband could stay late for tech events and once a week i get a mommy night where i do whatever i want and no one bothers me. this was so needed. i needed that time for myself. I can't stress enough how important it is for mothers to get time for themselves. for their sanity. this arrangement made a huge difference.
i continued my journey to get healthy. juggling a lot of balls. taking care of the house, my son, myself. my husband and i try to get a date night once a month when my parents can take my son overnight and that has helped alot.
we got a groove going and we were ok.
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.....
1. as of Christmas I am now back to pre-pregnancy/post WLS weight!! woohoo!!! took me 2 yrs to get there but i did it!
2. On christmas eve i booked my PLASTIC SURGERY!!! woooohooo!!! i'm FINALLY getting rid of this fucking panni!! woohoo!!!
I'm getting an extended tummy tuck with lipo of flanks, upper back, and double chin. My surgery date is March 16th! Right around the corner!!!
This year has been even more challenging bc my son started climbing out of his crib so i had to transition to toddler bed which was a complete nightmare. sleep training a toddler is a horrible experience. and now he wakes up super early so i have had to adjust to not having my "me" time in the morning. on top of that i have to skip naps so i can do my workouts (which i used to do in the morning). it hasn't been easy but i am strong and i've learned i can adjust to anything. so happy i have gone through this journey. its made me stronger (physically and mentally) and more able to deal with life's challenges. i really needed to grow and change and do the inner work. and i'm so glad i did it before getting the external work. i feel like i'm in a better place than those women who get the outer work to help them feel good about themselves. i already feel good about myself. i'm strong and capable and truly happy. and now the outer shell is just a bonus. you have to be happy with yourself despite any of the outer stuff. it took me a year to get there. but i'm there.
i feel very blessed to have gotten to this point. and proud of myself. i have been putting in the work for an entire year and will continue to do so. i have plans for all the fitness stuff i want to do after i heal. i can truly say my lifestyle and frame of mind has totally changed.
i know recovery will not be easy. it will be yet another challenge i have to face. but i believe i have prepared with all the inner work i've done. i know i can get through this. and in the end it will all be worth it.
hope you all are doing well. life is good! :)
Last year was very very hard. It was the biggest test of my strength ever. So many changes that were NOT easy. Having to take on more responsibility around here bc of my husband's new schedule. it was not easy. i felt like i lost myself and i was just a servant for other people. i felt like i wasn't doing anything for ME. it really took its toll on my marriage. eventually we figured out a plan that worked. we agreed that once or twice a week my husband could stay late for tech events and once a week i get a mommy night where i do whatever i want and no one bothers me. this was so needed. i needed that time for myself. I can't stress enough how important it is for mothers to get time for themselves. for their sanity. this arrangement made a huge difference.
i continued my journey to get healthy. juggling a lot of balls. taking care of the house, my son, myself. my husband and i try to get a date night once a month when my parents can take my son overnight and that has helped alot.
we got a groove going and we were ok.
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.....
1. as of Christmas I am now back to pre-pregnancy/post WLS weight!! woohoo!!! took me 2 yrs to get there but i did it!
2. On christmas eve i booked my PLASTIC SURGERY!!! woooohooo!!! i'm FINALLY getting rid of this fucking panni!! woohoo!!!
I'm getting an extended tummy tuck with lipo of flanks, upper back, and double chin. My surgery date is March 16th! Right around the corner!!!
This year has been even more challenging bc my son started climbing out of his crib so i had to transition to toddler bed which was a complete nightmare. sleep training a toddler is a horrible experience. and now he wakes up super early so i have had to adjust to not having my "me" time in the morning. on top of that i have to skip naps so i can do my workouts (which i used to do in the morning). it hasn't been easy but i am strong and i've learned i can adjust to anything. so happy i have gone through this journey. its made me stronger (physically and mentally) and more able to deal with life's challenges. i really needed to grow and change and do the inner work. and i'm so glad i did it before getting the external work. i feel like i'm in a better place than those women who get the outer work to help them feel good about themselves. i already feel good about myself. i'm strong and capable and truly happy. and now the outer shell is just a bonus. you have to be happy with yourself despite any of the outer stuff. it took me a year to get there. but i'm there.
i feel very blessed to have gotten to this point. and proud of myself. i have been putting in the work for an entire year and will continue to do so. i have plans for all the fitness stuff i want to do after i heal. i can truly say my lifestyle and frame of mind has totally changed.
i know recovery will not be easy. it will be yet another challenge i have to face. but i believe i have prepared with all the inner work i've done. i know i can get through this. and in the end it will all be worth it.
hope you all are doing well. life is good! :)
Friday, September 19, 2014
i don't have anyone to talk to about this. so i'll write it down.
my husband seems like a miserable bastard lately. i can't tell if its me, his job, his schedule, the responsibilities of fatherhood, financial worries or what but he's just always either in a bad mood or devoid of feelings and proceeding to do everything like a robot completing tasks. i've tried to talk to him about it. i reached out and emailed him, he emailed me back something weird as if he wasn't hearing what i was saying and then never responded to my next 2 emails. he's horrible at communicating. he makes me not want to even bother. so i drop it and it becomes this big wedge between us. i'm really getting tired of his attitude. i want to be happy and enjoy life. he seems like he doesn't even wanna be here. i feel like, well fine leave then. who needs you? ugh.
my husband seems like a miserable bastard lately. i can't tell if its me, his job, his schedule, the responsibilities of fatherhood, financial worries or what but he's just always either in a bad mood or devoid of feelings and proceeding to do everything like a robot completing tasks. i've tried to talk to him about it. i reached out and emailed him, he emailed me back something weird as if he wasn't hearing what i was saying and then never responded to my next 2 emails. he's horrible at communicating. he makes me not want to even bother. so i drop it and it becomes this big wedge between us. i'm really getting tired of his attitude. i want to be happy and enjoy life. he seems like he doesn't even wanna be here. i feel like, well fine leave then. who needs you? ugh.
Saturday, September 6, 2014
August was a blessing. september looks like its gonna rock.
july was really bad. may and june were a struggle. August brought about clarity and positive changes.
i am now currently in Ketosis.
in the month of august i lost 4lbs.
and another lb and another inch off my waist to date. i am now less than 10lbs away from pre pregnancy weight. its so close i can taste it!!!!
the pounds are melting off effortlessly but it is possible that its water weight. but i am gonna start a new workout routine this week. started today. i have to change the way i workout bc i don't have the carbs to do sustained workouts. so i'm switching to short, intense workouts.
today i did TABATA (4 min of squats). i tried doing a set of jump rope but i couldn't go on. i was very very spent. but i have so much energy the rest of the day. and i feel great. i really missed that feeling of working out. i haven't been working out for a month. i love the feeling of regular workouts bc i feel accomplished and strong. and i'm hoping it will ramp up the fat burning so i can really get the most out of this diet. i'm hoping to reach my goal weight (pre pregnancy weight 173lbs) by mid november.
i will keep you guys posted.
my next goal after that is to get down to 140lbs. thats my BIG goal. anything under 173 is icing on the cake to me :)
i am now currently in Ketosis.
in the month of august i lost 4lbs.
and another lb and another inch off my waist to date. i am now less than 10lbs away from pre pregnancy weight. its so close i can taste it!!!!
the pounds are melting off effortlessly but it is possible that its water weight. but i am gonna start a new workout routine this week. started today. i have to change the way i workout bc i don't have the carbs to do sustained workouts. so i'm switching to short, intense workouts.
today i did TABATA (4 min of squats). i tried doing a set of jump rope but i couldn't go on. i was very very spent. but i have so much energy the rest of the day. and i feel great. i really missed that feeling of working out. i haven't been working out for a month. i love the feeling of regular workouts bc i feel accomplished and strong. and i'm hoping it will ramp up the fat burning so i can really get the most out of this diet. i'm hoping to reach my goal weight (pre pregnancy weight 173lbs) by mid november.
i will keep you guys posted.
my next goal after that is to get down to 140lbs. thats my BIG goal. anything under 173 is icing on the cake to me :)
Monday, August 18, 2014
Finally, a diagnosis
I have been self diagnosing for months. And i have been wrong every time.
The last one was hypothyroid. Everyone kept telling me it was likely my thyroid. I looked it up and all the symptoms seemed to match.
I finally got bloodwork and went back for a follow up. Doc shows me bloodwork results and says your thyroid is working perfectly fine. Total shocker to me because I really thought this was it. and if it wasn't it, then what the hell WAS causing my symptoms. doc didn't know. we started to discuss it. i told her it seemed hormonal. that many of the symptoms mimicked pregnancy symptoms and i had checked myself so many times thinking i was pregnant. let's break it down.
1. Fatigue (almost always low energy and some days NEEDED to sleep)
2. Occasional nausea, sensitivity to light and sound (got those when pregnant)
3. Moodswings (depression, anxiety, for no reason)
4. Weight gain or no weight loss despite working out vigorously
5. Acne
6. Body aches, joint pain/tendinitis (big time during and after pregnancy)
7. Cravings for certain foods
8. Irregular periods
you get the idea.
The doc said...hmm....and you have already been diagnosed with PCOS? yes. Well the bloodwork showed thyroid was fine but i'm now once again pre-diabetic. shit. must have been the fucking carbs i added doing this macros thing. she says it made the PCOC re-activate. which makes so much sense now. i was slowly getting worse. my body was trying to tell me something. i didn't even remember to tell the doc this but i've been having sweet smelling urine for a while (a sign of diabetes). and now that makes sense too. the timeline makes perfect sense.
i was so relieved A. to have an answer but B. that it wasn't thyroid disease bc that is so serious. luckily i already went back to low carb. doc says that should be my norm. thats good to know for the future. always keep it low carb. gotcha. she put me on a low dose metformin. i've been taking it for a couple days and already noticing a difference. the fog is starting to clear. i'm hoping that once my levels even out i will be back to my old self! yay!!!
oh and before i even saw my doc and found this stuff out i had already lost 1lb and 1 inch off my waist after 3 weeks of low carb. which is huge for me because from may-aug i only lost 2lbs. and thats with working out hard 5-6 days a week!!
so there you have it. i woke up my PCOS. so glad i caught it before it got serious. doc says it will settle down/go away when i lose some weight. which i plan to do anyway. she was really impressed with my attitude. she said i'm doing all the right things and my head is in the right place.
the best part is i'm taking the right actions and i will soon be able to put all this behind me! i can get back to working out and LOSING WEIGHT!! i'm so happy!
The last one was hypothyroid. Everyone kept telling me it was likely my thyroid. I looked it up and all the symptoms seemed to match.
I finally got bloodwork and went back for a follow up. Doc shows me bloodwork results and says your thyroid is working perfectly fine. Total shocker to me because I really thought this was it. and if it wasn't it, then what the hell WAS causing my symptoms. doc didn't know. we started to discuss it. i told her it seemed hormonal. that many of the symptoms mimicked pregnancy symptoms and i had checked myself so many times thinking i was pregnant. let's break it down.
1. Fatigue (almost always low energy and some days NEEDED to sleep)
2. Occasional nausea, sensitivity to light and sound (got those when pregnant)
3. Moodswings (depression, anxiety, for no reason)
4. Weight gain or no weight loss despite working out vigorously
5. Acne
6. Body aches, joint pain/tendinitis (big time during and after pregnancy)
7. Cravings for certain foods
8. Irregular periods
you get the idea.
The doc said...hmm....and you have already been diagnosed with PCOS? yes. Well the bloodwork showed thyroid was fine but i'm now once again pre-diabetic. shit. must have been the fucking carbs i added doing this macros thing. she says it made the PCOC re-activate. which makes so much sense now. i was slowly getting worse. my body was trying to tell me something. i didn't even remember to tell the doc this but i've been having sweet smelling urine for a while (a sign of diabetes). and now that makes sense too. the timeline makes perfect sense.
i was so relieved A. to have an answer but B. that it wasn't thyroid disease bc that is so serious. luckily i already went back to low carb. doc says that should be my norm. thats good to know for the future. always keep it low carb. gotcha. she put me on a low dose metformin. i've been taking it for a couple days and already noticing a difference. the fog is starting to clear. i'm hoping that once my levels even out i will be back to my old self! yay!!!
oh and before i even saw my doc and found this stuff out i had already lost 1lb and 1 inch off my waist after 3 weeks of low carb. which is huge for me because from may-aug i only lost 2lbs. and thats with working out hard 5-6 days a week!!
so there you have it. i woke up my PCOS. so glad i caught it before it got serious. doc says it will settle down/go away when i lose some weight. which i plan to do anyway. she was really impressed with my attitude. she said i'm doing all the right things and my head is in the right place.
the best part is i'm taking the right actions and i will soon be able to put all this behind me! i can get back to working out and LOSING WEIGHT!! i'm so happy!
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