Reconsidering Lap Band

I was very against the whole gastric bypass thing. I looked into the lap band as an alternative but then decided it was too harsh as well and that I could do this on my own.

I've been able to lose like 20lbs but then thats it. I always only lose 15-30lbs before I lose motivation. I need something that will once and for all get me all the way down. Otherwise its juts like walking up a downward moving escalator. I'm not getting anywhere. The thought of struggling with food my whole life is upsetting to me. Thats not how I want to live. The thought of not being able to eat certain things or throwing up or having medical complications worries the shit out of me. Thats probably my biggest obstacle. Well that and money.

And guess what, this procedure isn't a magic pill. I still have to eat right and work out. Although I hear you can lose weight even without working out. So at least I know I don't have to kill myself going to the gym. Because lets be honest, who can keep that up for the rest of their life?

If I have something inside me and I physically can't hold down much food....i mean.....I get scared when people say "Its a LIFE CHANGE" because I've never been able to keep up anything forever. I mean be realistic. We all have times when we want pizza and ice cream. I'm not gonna eat veggies all the time and I don't want there to be any food thats off limits to me for the rest of my life. Or ever for that matter. If its a situation where I choose not to eat certain foods because I can make healthier choices, thats one thing, but don't tell me i can never have french fries. Everyone is entitled to a cheat here and there. I don't wanna be thin and miserable. But anyway like i was saying, if there's something inside me and I physically can't hold down much food then it forces me to make life changes. Its like...a constant. So I dunno...maybe its doable.

The thing is I don't want to be consumed by this. I don't want to spend my life counting calories and worrying about the scale. I want to have this procedure, follow the rules, and live life. I want this to allow me to live my life to the fullest, I don't want to spend my life living for this lap band.

And I don't even know if its better to get the lap band or the gastric bypass. Thats research I will have to do.

But whats made me reconsider this whole thing is seeing people, real people...in person, who have had GP or lap band or something and they have lost weight and kept it off. One in particular even had a child and she still looks amazing. And lately I keep seeing more and more stories like this and I don't know if its a sign or what. I don't know these people's day -to-day so I have no idea if they're consumed with the weight situation when they're home and not out at some function. My hope is that they're not. I mean, I don't expect to just do this and never have to worry about weight again. But like I said, I just want to follow the guidelines, and try to have as normal a relationship with food as I can, and spend the rest of my time living life and enjoying things.

Anyway thats where my mind is at with that. Am I gonna do it? Don't know. Its not something thats a priority for me right now. I might do it after I have a child. Don't know. Its just something that I'm considering. I might have to go there.