OMG OMG OMG!! HMR CAME TODAY!!!! YAY!!

OK ok ok ok so i got a big package (2 actually) in the mail today! SO dying of excitement!


The smaller box had the Benefit bars. These don't come with the Quick Start Kit, I bought these extra. They're for times when I'm on the road or somewhere where i can't prepare a shake or microwave food. Like the movies. I've heard they're yummy.


In the big box were the shakes, the entrees, and all the guides and info


Just to give you an idea of some of the entrees


Just to give you an idea of what 3 weeks of food looks like. (it was a mission to find space for this stuff) By the way the box of shakes at the bottom is for making pudding. For dessert! :)


plus these shakes that didn't fit in there!


It also comes with a recipe book. I looked inside there are a lot of cool things you can add to the shakes including fruits, extracts, spices, gelatin, even diet soda!!




The stuff that came inside: Support Guide, Weekly Progress Chart, Quick Start Guide and an order form. Oh and a cd with lots of good info on it.




This is the weekly progress chart. Its a good way to chart my process over the weeks and months.


and...thats it!!! I'm a little nervous but more excited than anything! eep!! I will weigh myself in the morning. I haven't weighed myself since I started last month because I don't like to weigh myself. I prefer to see the changes in my body because if you don't see the numbers you want you get discouraged. But for this I have to chart my weight each week. So I'll weigh myself before I start. I'm kind of curious to see how much I've lost so far on my own. I'm sure its less than what I think. But it doesn't matter. I see my body and I know it looks and feels diff.

So tomorrow I actually start eat these things. I'll report back and let you know how they taste. :) aahhh!!

Contemplating HMR

I'm ready for drastic measures. I am.

But here's what I don't need:

People judging me.
People being negative.
People pointing out my mistakes and not my triumphs.
Thats just not constructive.

So many times I talk to certain friends or certain family members who, when i tell them all the good stuff i'm doing, find a way to point out what i'm not doing instead of praising what I am doing. People, thats not helpful. It doesn't motivate me. It tears me down.

So I'm afraid of these weekly "meetings" that HMR does. And probably the same reason I avoid talking to ppl about my weight and why I dread DR appts. Doctors so often tell me "you need to lose weight" but when i try to tell them that i've been trying they just tune me out. "uh huh, uh huh, yeah yeah yeah, you have to lose weight". are you surprised that i loathe talking about my weight to people???? Then there are those times when I go off track. and instead of saying "thats ok, it happens to everyone, the important thing is to get back in the swing of things", they say "see you can't do that, you need to bla bla bla bla".

So yeah..i'm worried going to these meetings will totally turn me off to the whole thing. because negativity just makes me lose hope.

What I do need:

People praising the good things I've done.
People supporting me, and no judging me.
People treating me like a normal human being, not some subhuman.
People who give me ideas, and share their recipes, workouts, and struggles with me.


And endless endless thanks to my cousins who have NEVER judged me. And who continue to support me in everything I do. It means so much to me. Thanks you guys!