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| brown shirt was on day 3 when i got home from the hospital |
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| bruise is from the heparin shot |
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| blue shirt pics are from today day 5 |
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| i put gauze and tape on the bellybutton scar bc its not healed. still wet. |
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| this bruise i'm guessing is from the hernia repair |
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| my husband can't stand to see this bruise. but it doesn't hurt. |
i haven't showered. i gave myself a sponge bath and cleaned gently without getting them wet and cleaned everything else very well.
i had dreams last night about eating food. i was so scared i did it! i even woke up and said oh it was a dream then saw myself eating! it was a dream within a dream! omg! this head stuff is no joke. i would be so scared to eat food anytime soon. i'm living off hot decaf tea. that goes down real nice. haven't moved up to jello or anything yet. although today for the first time i had some unjury broth. so i finally got some protein in. i'm still struggling to get liquids in. yesterday i managed 32 oz. which is a big success for me.
the first 4 days i was pretty miserable with the pain and discomfort. never regretted the surgery for a second. just sick of feeling this way. today i feel better than all the days before and i can see myself enjoying things again. like tv and internet. i'm so happy and looking forward to the future. i can't wait to be well enough to go out and live life. i'm up for anything. lets go have adventures! not being hungry is so incredibly liberating!
so proud of myself for doing this. i know people think its cheating or the easy way but its not. for me it was necessary. i've been through SOOOO much. soo much. and you know what? i deserve all the happiness that comes from this decision. never thought i deserved anything before. but i paid my dues. and i deserve good things. you're gonna see me enjoying life with a big old smile on my face. :)
